Top 50 albums of 2009, part seven (5-1)

We're down to the final five. The big ones. The ones that really matter. Who has the honour of producing Screenaged Kicks's number one album of the year? Only time, or rather, a few paragraphs, will tell...


5. THE XCERTS: In the Cold Wind We Smile

What is it about Scotland, huh? How is it that a country with such high unemployment, such significant levels of crime and such a growing need for regeneration (wander past the revitalised city centres of Edinburgh and Glasgow and you'll quickly find yourself bombarded with boarded-up windows and destitute souls) continues to produce some of the greatest music your ears are ever likely to hear? Its barren, bitter landscapes have given us the criminally underrated Idlewild, the enigmatic Biffy Clyro, the gargantuan Sucioperro and the evocativce Glasvegas, as well as some of the year's most promising upstarts in these whipper-snappers, Aberdeen's quite unbelievably teenage Xcerts. Surely there must be something in the water? (Let's just forget that Texas ever happened, shall we?) 'In the Cold Wind We Smile' is a surprisingly assured release from such young minds. Its lyrics are thankfully bereft of the usual hyperbole that typify teenage writing, and the musical accompaniment is a glorious mix of the best elements of the original emo bands (Get Up Kids, Sunny Day Real Estate, Saves the Day) and output from various contemporary Scottish acts (Biffy, Jetpacks et al.) It's an expressive, cathartic piece with a massive heart and a tonne of ambition. Domestic strife never sounded so thrilling.


4. MANIC STREET PREACHERS: Journal For Plague Lovers

It seems almost clichéd to suggest it, and doubtless there will be those who claim that it’s just a load of smoke being blown further up the arse of a man who has practically achieved God-like status in the fourteen years since his disappearance, but fuck me, ‘Journal for Plague lovers’ is fantastic. Somehow, some way, James Dean Bradfield, Nicky Wire and Sean Moore have done their lost friend all the justice they could, and then some. The music matches the lyrics so wonderfully, evoking exactly what the oft-beguiling words seem to suggest, that it appears almost effortless, as if they were intrinsically aware of what was needed without having to consciously think about it, like the interpretation just tumbled out of them, ready made and bloody marvellous. ‘Journal’ works both as a testament to a hugely talented man and as a thrill-packed rock record, full of beautiful melodies, gorgeous guitar wizardry and air-punching intensity. At times, it feels prudent to cast aside all thoughts of Richey altogether; as Christian Bale says in the first ten seconds of the album, ‘we know so little about [him]’, after all. But it doesn’t matter; Manic Street Preachers have made a record that surpasses these concerns, cutting past the distractions in trying to seem authentic and simply allowing the words to stand on their own. It's got the album sleeve of the year too...


3. WE WERE PROMISED JETPACKS: These Four Walls

As well has having probably the coolest name on the planet, Glasgow’s We Were Promised Jetpacks make one hell of a fantastic racket. ‘These Four Walls’ sounds absolutely monumental, a towering inferno of cacophonous instrument rape built on a penchant for the most intense sort of crescendo known to man. Virtually all of the album’s eleven tracks are addictively restless, starting out quiet but curiously sporadic, goading the listener into keeping a spasmodic sort of time when there is none being kept within the song. This lends a raw flavour to the music, augmented by a smattering of jagged, scattershot guitars and unusual timbre, upon which the band add layer after layer of sound with each passing minute, before finally reaching a sort of cathartic apex; the auditory orgasm, if you will. It’s the same tactic that’s allowed The Arcade Fire to become such critical stalwarts, except enhanced tenfold by the sheer bombast of the noise that the band make. They’re more like a comprehendible Die! Die! Die! or pretenders to Biffy Clyro’s throne, using the less radio-friendly song structures of their earlier material. ‘These Four Walls’ is an absolute gem, a record dripping with visceral delights that demand you return again and again, seeking the same thrills but all the while discovering spectacular new ones. It claws its way out of its own four walls, restlessly hammering at your eardrums until you just can’t help but fall hopelessly in love with it. You can have your jetpacks guys; we’ll take your music.


2. BRAND NEW: Daisy

‘Daisy’ is a miserably aggressive horror show of a record that trawls the darkest depths of the human psyche, exploring a world of desperation, loss and emotional catastrophe. Play this beast at a party and your guests are likely to start bashing each others’ brains in with the furniture. The album takes the misery and hopelessness of 2006’s astounding ‘The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me’ and reimagines it through musical cacophony; ‘heavy’ doesn’t even begin to describe the raw, distorted guitars and abrasive, crashing drums that pound at your earlobes throughout. This is less the sound of the defeated and more the sound of the disgusted: instruments are assaulted rather than played, and Jesse screams like Frank Carter’s demented second cousin twice removed over most of the tracks, obliterating any semblance of melody. It sounds like a horrific listening experience but actually, it’s quite the opposite. Like a good car crash, you just can’t help but be fascinated by ‘Daisy’; to want to stare, self-destructively, at its twisted, repugnant carcass. This is an album that demands multiple listens, that won’t escape from your CD player for months, no matter how much you may want it to. It’s another almighty swerve from a band that just won’t sit still, that refuse to be what everyone wants them to be, and for that, they should be applauded. Fuck partying guys, let’s smash shit up.


1. MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA: Mean Everything To Nothing

There’s something of a buzz surrounding Manchester Orchestra; following 2006’s impressively mature debut, ‘I’m like a Virgin Losing a Child’, the Georgia five-piece have become critical dahlings, and for once, it’s wholly justified. With ‘Mean Everything to Nothing’, the band have produced their magnum opus, a superlative distillation of their quintessentially bleak, yet unquestionably anthemic, sound. At times, it's a difficult listen; its despondency is initially unwelcoming and takes some time to truly appreciate, but, as with all good things, perseverance pays dividends. The album harnesses the kind of emotional gravitas and packs the same incredibly stomach-churning punch as tour mates Brand New’s phenomenal ‘The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me’ and that really is no small feat. Manchester Orchestra splatter heart, soul, blood and guts all over this record, giving you everything they’ve got, and for that, they should mean everything to everyone. An undisputed classic.

Well, there you go. Another year, another laundry list of wonderful records. Hope you enjoyed this rundown and feel free to point out any shocking omissions in the comments.

Top 50 albums of 2009, part six (10-6)

10. BIFFY CLYRO: Only Revolutions

It may not manage to reach the lofty heights of 'Puzzle' but then, when you've made one of the very best records of the last twenty or so years, it's always going to be a bit of a challenge to follow it. Still, 'Only Revolutions' is a mighty fine album and one that's more than worthy of your undivided attention. The opening salvo of 'The Captain', absolutely the pop song of the year, and 'That Golden Rule', probably the rock song of the year (check out that orchestral closing minute!) is freaking orgasmic. And then there's the ludicrously anthemic 'Bubbles', the beautifully tender 'God and Satan', last year's greatest rock record 'Mountains', epic ballad 'Many of Horror', the utterly absurd, but unfathomably brilliant, 'Born on a Horse'... the list goes on and on. This is an album packed to the brim with opulence; with delicious feasts for the ears. Forget your reservations, Biffy purists, and let its playful charm sweep right over you. You'll feel better for it. Honest.

9. SUCIOPERRO: Pain Agency

‘Pain Agency’ is an utterly terrifying record, laying bare a veritable horror show of human excess and depravity, delving deep into decidedly disturbing thematic territory and unleashing a tidal wave of criminally intense, magnificently harrowing guitar noise to soundtrack it. This is certainly no easy listen, but this is exactly what gives the record its power. From the lilting acoustic sway of ‘Conception Territory’ to the death metal tones of the thoroughly evil ‘Mum’s Bad Punk Music’, ‘Pain Agency’ refuses to be pigeonholed, taking the listener on a gloriously sporadic sensory journey and, for all the ride may be a harrowing one, it proves all the more rewarding for it. Pain never sounded, or felt, quite this good.

8. IDLEWILD: Post Electric Blues

For album number six, Idlewild tend to stick to what they do best, marrying larger-than-life hooks with glitzy, punchy guitar pop. 'Post Electric' owes more to 'Warnings/Promises' than previous release 'Make Another World'; its palate is less immediate and sonically intense, embracing the folky introspection of Woomble's solo work as much as providing guiltless rock thrills, but this only makes the album that much more interesting. Rod's wonderful guitar stabs are often accompanied by tinkles on the ivories, as in the lovely 'City Hall'. There are experiments with brass and unusual percussion, elements that make lead single 'Readers and Writers' such a joy, and there is female vocal accompaniment, provided by the effortlessly talented Heidi Talbot, which adds a fresh dimension to the band's sound. She accentuates the power of wistful ballad 'Take Me Back to the Islands' but, perhaps more impressively, actually manages to make something glorious out of a series of 'la la la's, which is all she provides on 'Younger than America', the album's superlatively anthemic opener. Somehow, her minuscule contribution seems gargantuan, giving the track a sort of rapturous feel that sends shivers down the spine. It may take a few listens but it'll soon become apparent that yet again, the Scotsmen have created something truly special.

7. SILVERSUN PICKUPS: Swoon

Swooning its way into our hearts (hah... see what I did there? *tumbleweed*), Silversun Pickups' latest offering is a veritable treasure trove of musical delights, taking the listener on a roller coaster ride that's highly demanding on the emotions. The eerie melodrama of 'There's No Secrets This Year' soon gives way to the full throttle agony of 'The Royal We' and 'Panic Switch', before taking in the tragically quiet despair of 'Draining' and 'Catch and Release'. There's crushing agony too: 'It's Nice To Know You Work Alone' has probably one of the greatest hooks of the year, but singer Brian Aubert's creepily high pitched vocal transforms it into something unrelentingly terrifying. A wonderfully rich and expertly demanding record that ultimately provides many, many rewards.

6. FUTURE OF THE LEFT: Travels With Myself and Another

Jack Egglestone is an angry man. Quite what he’s angry about, however, is anyone’s guess. The latest batch of aggressive, scuzzy noise rock to come out of the Future of the Left camp is as deliciously oblique and frustratingly nonsensical as always; traversing a minefield of guttural rants without really explaining just what on Earth’s got the boys so incredibly riled. Listening to ‘Travels with Myself and Another’ is sort of like wandering into a blistering domestic row halfway through, and not knowing anything about any of the parties involved. The lyrics are replete with didactic, accusatory exclamations, often directed at specific individuals (the stingingly pinpointed Rick of ‘Arming Eritrea’, ‘Throwing Bricks at Trains’’ Reginald J. Trucksfield) and contain frankly bizarre concepts: ‘Drink Nike’? You what? ‘He’s one of a kind/He’s got chin music’? Excuse me? Would someone mind explaining to me just what the fudge is going on? Of course, it doesn't matter really. Fact is, 'Travels' rocks like one hell of a bastard, spunking all over your poor unsuspecting stereo for thirty five purely visceral minutes. F-ing fantastic.

Top 50 albums of 2009, part five (15-11)

15. FAKE PROBLEMS: It's Great To Be Alive

Sounding like the bastard love child of about a dozen of your favourite bands - Against Me!, Gogol Bordello, Flogging Molly, even The Arcade Fire and Frank Turner at times - it's quite remarkable that Fake Problems have actually managed to create an album that so deftly delineates an identity of their own. 'It's Great To Be Alive' is a rapturous record, bursting with life and bristling with ingenuity. You just can't help but fall for its illustrious charms and in so doing, you'll probably end up feeling a whole heck of a lot better too.

14. MUMFORD AND SONS: Sigh No More

London's Mumford and Sons make the kind of gritty, grass-roots folk music that gives Conor Oberst, nay Bob Dylan, morning glory. 'Sigh No More' is an astutely cohesive collection of impassioned songs that feels truly heartfelt. Whether they're raging against injustice or turning the microscope inwards, this ragtag bunch always command your attention and will have you repeating every one of their delightfully addictive refrains for eons.

13. PROPAGANDHI: Supporting Caste

In a year that's been unusually quiet, or perhaps more accurately, somewhat disappointing, on the punkier side of that rock 'n' roll thang, thank the heavens for Propagandhi, the most consistent bunch of serially pissed off noiseniks we have. There's no other way to describe 'Supporting Caste' than as fucking brutal: the riffs are almost metal-esque in their ludicrous flamboyance, while the rhythm guitars sound like they're unloading shotgun shells into your skull. Typically, this is a highly political record and one that is angry about, well, pretty much everything, and it's all the more amazing for it. Definitely one to crank up to full volume on your iPod headphones while on any form of public transport and watch the carnage ensue.

12. THE TWILIGHT SAD: Forget The Night Ahead

Who needs Glasvegas when you've got these Scottish miserabilists? 'Forget The Night Ahead' does seem to borrow a fair deal from the world's favourite Glaswegians but given that their self-titled debut was one of the best things about 2008, and probably the decade, can you really blame them? So this achingly pained debut is awash with My Bloody Valentine guitars and cold, bittersweet melodies; you know, the sort that make you cry your bloody eyes out during 'It's My Own Cheating Heart...' and 'Daddy's Gone'. 'Reflection of the Television', 'I Became A Prostitute', 'Made to Disappear'... they all hold their own against Glasvegas's finest and have the sort of epic heart that guaratees you'll come back for more.

11. TWIN ATLANTIC: Vivarium

Twin Atlantic capture the exquisite essence of their music by giving as succinct a statement as possible, thereby whetting our appetites perfectly. Simultaneously delicate, gargantuan, moving and absurd, ‘Vivarium’ is a gorgeously rich record, a near flawless snapshot of a band destined for greatness. Treasure this hidden gem while you still can.

Top 50 Albums of 2009, part four (20-16)

Okay, so I sort of lied when I said this would be published in five parts. Sue me. It's gonna be seven. Probably. Look, I just don't have time to write about ten albums today; especially those in the top twenty, the big guns, the ones that need more attention. However, instead of just abandoning it altogether, I thought I'd give my loyal readers (sorry, reader) something to chew over this evening. So here's positions 20 to 16. Deal with it.

20. FLOOD OF RED: Leaving Everything Behind

There's an eerie undercurrent running through this record and it's manifested in the unusually scuzzy nature of much of the music. While the guitars are certainly heavy enough to give your head a good seeing to, they also sound distinctly wayward, as if they've been swept up in a hurricane before being unleashed on your poor, unsuspecting ears. 'Leave Everything Behind' gives the impression of a band who are light years ahead of the majority of their peers. There's intensity, diversity and a surprisingly skilled grasp of evocation; at times, you can feel the weight of the their experiences bearing down on the record, like a millstone slung heavily around its neck.

19. WHITE LIES: To Lose My Life

Fortunately for White Lies, while close scrutiny of their lyrics may make you want to reach for the nearest razorblade, simply listening to the music, letting the album wash over you per se, proves to be a far less hazardous and distinctly enjoyable experience. It's little surprise that the nation has taken the band to its collective heart, and this record to number one no less, when you consider that their sound marries the universalist catharsis of Glasvegas with the 80s synth stylings of the Killers, stopping off at Joy Division's miserablist boutique and Editors' angular, wiry guitar store along the way. With such big name influences, it's hard to go wrong; the resultant hybrid is one that transforms delicate melodies into explosive rhythms, firing huge choruses and memorable hooks left, right and centre.

18. THE CRIBS: Ignore the Ignorant

'Ignore the Ignorant' sees The Cribs consolidating the success of 'Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever', taking advantage of the addition of one absolutely superlative guitarist in order to intensify their sound. The album doesn't exactly traverse pastures new; Marr's contributions tend to complement rather than diversify, but this is arguably its greatest asset. Instead of panicking about their position in the indie Zeitgeist, worrying about whether they'll sell records in the current electronica-obsessed climate, The Cribs remain steadfast, doing their own thing, on their own time, on their own terms. The record is a cornucopia of the band's strengths, an aggressive and unkempt cyclone of calamitous guitars, awkward vocals and contradictory melodies. Is it a match for 'Men's Needs...'? The jury's still out, but it's a damn fine record all the same.

17. GALLOWS: Grey Britain

As riotously provocative as 'Orchestra of Wolves', only about ten times as focused, 'Grey Britain' is Gallows' mission statement, their thundering rallying cry to the masses. Amongst a sea of abrasive guitars and infuriated vocals, there is a notable sense of unity, generated by the record's unrelentingly visceral lyrical content. This is 21st Century Britain at its most brutal and most honest; as horrifyingly naked a portrait as you are ever likely to find.

16. GRIZZLY BEAR: Veckatimest

2009's 'Summer record', if you are to believe the hype, but there's far more to 'Veckatimest' than a mere superficial sense of euphoria. The album is doused in myriad shades, shards and shapes of emotion, producing a rather mind-bending listening experience. At times uplifting, and at others decidedly grim, Grizzly Bear's latest will have you returning time and again for more, each revisit uncovering new treasures. Deliciously ethereal.

POKE December setlist (19/12/09)

Most of what we played is listed below.

Beck: E-Pro
Franz Ferdinand: This Fire
Laura Veirs: Phantom Mountain
My Brightest Diamond: Inside A Boy
Telepopmusik: Genetic World
Stereolab: Rainbow Conversation
Beirut: Carousels
Dirty Projectors: Knotty Pine
Charlotte Hatherley: White
Golden Silvers: Arrows of Eros
Modest Mouse: Dashboard
Grammatics: D.I.L.E.M.M.A.
The National: Squalor Victoria
Les Savy Fav: Disco Drive
Blood Red Shoes: It's Getting Boring By The Sea
We Were Promised Jetpacks: Quiet Little Voices
The Xcerts: Nightschool
Sucioperro: The Dissident Code
The XX: Basic Space
Devo: Satisfaction
Beck: Cellphone's Dead (Jamie Ledel Remix)
Feist: Feel It All (Escort Mix)
Pulsallama: Devil Lives In My Husband's Body
Sally Shapiro: Skating In The Moonshine (Solvent Mix)
Sufjan Stevens: Blood (Buck 65 Mix)
Fischerspooner: Emerge (DFA Remix)
Kate Wax: Bodies In Grace
Placebo: Pure Morning (LRD Remix)
Neon Neon: I Lust U
Telepathe: Grome's Quit
Wild Beasts: Devil's Crayon
David Bowie: Jump They Say
Gorillaz: Dirty Harry
Nina Simone: Little Girl Blue (Postal Service Remix)
Amy Winehouse: In My Bed
Otis Redding: Hard To Handle
Royksopp: What Else Is There?
The Arcade Fire: Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)
We Are Scientists: Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
Interpol: Obstacle 1
Foals: Cassius
Vampire Weekend: Cousins
Lightning Dust: I Knew
Metric: Sick Muse
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart: Come Saturday
Eels: Going Fetal
The Flaming Lips: Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
La Roux: Quicksand (Remix)
Sebastien Tellier: Kilometer
Tiga: Shoes
Grace Jones: William's Blood
PJ Harvey: Kamikaze
Metric: Gold Guns Girls
Blur: Song 2
Arctic Monkeys: I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor
Editors: Blood
MGMT: Kids
Friendly Fires: Paris
Sleater-Kinney: Pompeii
Bjork: Army of Me
Dresden Dolls: Necessary Evil
The Long Blondes: Once and Never Again
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Date With The Night
The Clash: Janie Jones
The Ramones: The KKK Took My Baby Away
Blondie: Call Me
The Smiths: Panic
The Cure: Inbetween Days
New Order: True Faith
Mystery Jets: Two Doors Down
Radiohead: Bodysnatchers
Arctic Monkeys: Brianstorm
Kings of Leon: Red Morning Light
Joy Division: Transmission
Maximo Park: Apply Some Pressure
The Strokes: Last Nite
The Pixies: Debaser

Top 50 Albums of 2009, part three (30-21)

30. GIRLS: Album

Another blogosphere favourite, Girls make glitzy, ambisexual indie pop with melodies to die for. 'Album' is a distinctly mature debut, packed to the brim with the kind of colossal choruses that usually take years to master.

29. THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Channelling the spirits of Morrissey, Marr, Robert Smith and the entire rhythm section of My Bloody Valentine, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart amalgamate adorably innocent lyricism (just listen to 'Everything With You'.. bless their cottons!) with straight-ahead indie-punk, and the results are gorgeous.

28. EELS: Hombre Lobo

With 'Hombre Lobo', E proves, for about the millionth time, that he can do absolutely no wrong. Combining quirky storytelling with dirty rock 'n' roll, the album sees a return to the scuzzier palate of 'Souljacker', and that's by no means a bad thing. It's also a concept record about desire, partly inspired by E's ever-expanding facial hair. Now how many other bands can turn that idea into something so brilliant?

27. LIGHTNING DUST: Infinite Light

If it weren't for Skins, Lightning Dust would've passed under our radar and by God, what a crime that would have been. 'I Knew' is the soundtrack to the season four trailer and on the strength of its frankly bizarre ability to make you want to dance around the room without ever really developing a proper beat, you really do need to acquire the album. A little more introspective than the single might suggest, 'Infinite Light' is, nevertheless, a truly great LP, providing the sort of soundtrack to the winter months that you just want to wrap yourself up in. Heartwarmingly melancholic.

26. WILD BEASTS: Two Dancers

In their Wikipedia entry, Wild Beasts are described using the genre-tag 'dream pop' and for all that may seem like yet another meaningless buzz term from the oh-so-cool indie Zeitgeist, one listen to 'Two Dancers' reveals exactly why it's the perfect description for the band. The falsettos, the soaring melodies, the fantastical themes... they all unite to produce something utterly captivating. And they come from Kendal. What more could you ask for?

25. CURSIVE: Mama, I'm Swollen

Unsurprisingly from this most maddening of bands, 'Mama, I'm Swollen' is a decidedly difficult album. Although it eschews some of the more sprawling excesses of elements of their previous work, feeling far more taut and concise at a distinctly compact forty minutes, the record remains a bleak, torrid affair, wracked with doubt and plagued by insecurity. It isn't exactly welcoming, but therein lies its genius. Like certain other albums of the year that we won't mention just yet, 'Mama, I'm Swollen''s oppressive nature makes it a far richer listening experience. Trust us - you won't be able to stop yourself returning again and again and again.

24. METRIC: Fantasies

Another year, another wonderful Metric record. As with 2005's 'Live It Out', 'Fantasies' is an expert synthesis of new wave indie stylings and sinister, warped lyricism. There are deliciously dark singles galore here: from the despondent rallying cry of 'Help, I'm Alive' to the wickedly observational 'Sick Muse', the choruses are huge, the vocals delicious and the rhythms, well, put it this way: if you aren't at the very least shuffling your feet after two songs, you're probably dead inside.

23. STELLASTARR*: Civilised

Their self-titled debut remains the greatest thing they've ever done, but with 'Civilised', Stellastarr* come excrutiatingly close to at the very least matching its sumptuous charms. Shawn Christensen's vocals have upped an octave or twenty, Michael Jurin's guitars are once again messy and reckless, and the album glistens with the spine-tingling urgency of a million 'Pulp Song's or 'Jenny's. 'Robot' is a delicious wall of amped-up noise, 'Graffiti Eyes' a wonderfully angular beast with delicious harmonies, 'Move On' comes on like the finest Stone Roses song that John Squire never wrote... the list is endless and just makes for further proof that Stellastarr*'s lack of populist success is one of the most unforgivable wrongs of the decade.

22. GREEN DAY: 21st Century Breakdown

Rather than shouting “sell outs!” and berating the supposed loss of their ‘punk roots’, we should be commending Green Day for refusing to stick to their guns. Yes, ‘21st Century Breakdown’ borrows from ‘American Idiot’ but hell, it borrows from many of their other albums too, with a whiff of ‘Misery’ here and a dash of ‘When I Come Around’ there. The band can’t escape their past, and they shouldn’t try to; instead, they should embrace it and see where it takes them now, as thirtysomethings who have come a long way from writing songs about masturbation. To expect another ‘Dookie’ or ‘Insomniac’ is naïve and pointless; what we have instead is the sound of a band willing to push the boat out, to be playful and experimental, while still retaining the essence of what makes them great. This is a daft, over-the-top, camp-as-fuck, practically insane piece of pop, rock and punk indulgence that worms its way into your skull and sets up home, refusing to leave until you acknowledge its brilliance. At times, yes, there are missteps but, on the whole, ‘21st Century Breakdown’ is a valiant effort. Unashamedly entryist, fabulously adolescent and thrilling as fuck.'

21. PISSED JEANS: King of Jeans

As far as monumentally pissed off bands go, Pissed Jeans are probably second only to Cardiff's perpetually infuriated Future of the Left. 'King of Jeans' is mad as hell and it isn't afraid to let you know it. From the off, guitars are beaten to shit, vocals growled through gritted teeth and ear-splitting feedback is allowed to tear its way through your speakers, destroying both your eardrums and your mental faculties in the process. Awesome then, in other words.

Top 50 Albums of 2009, part two (40-31)

40. MUSE: The Resistance

Bigger, bolder, brasher and more ludicrously bombastic than ever before, Muse soundtrack their prophesised apocalypse with tunes the size of mountains. Let's just forget about 'Undisclosed Desires', shall we?

39. NOAH AND THE WHALE: The First Days of Spring

Something of a harrowing listen, 'The First Days of Spring' lays bare the pain and heartache of a particularly messy break-up. Frighteningly, sumptuously real.

38. THE TEMPER TRAP: Conditions

That song. Those vocal chords. These bloody talented Aussies. The Temper Trap's debut album is awash with the kind of lusciously bittersweet indie noise that made The Smiths and R.E.M. the greatest bands in the world in the 80s. For all 'Sweet Disposition' is phenomenal, 'Conditions' is so much more than the one big hit.

37. DANCE GAVIN DANCE: Happiness

In a scene bursting at the seams with knuckle-dragging hardXXXXXcore wannabes, swapping melodies for half-arsed screams faster than you can windmill (the kids love it, don't you know?), it's refreshing to see a band who actually care about the genre and give it the time, patience and effort it deserves. 'Happiness' is a rich, playful album that both intrigues and rocks like an absolute bastard.

36. NOFX: Coaster

The millionth album from Fat Mike and his band of merry imbiciles in the last ten or so years, 'Coaster' proves that the age old adage, 'if it ain't broke...', still rings true. Socio-political indignance and humorous personal experience go hand in hand here, as ever, and it works wonders. Altogether now, 'blaspher-meeeeeeeeee! Blaspher-youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!'

35. SONIC YOUTH: The Eternal

To quote Clash, 'the album shows signs of life and heart-wrenching vitality that secures its makers’ position at the forefront of American rock music.' Couldn't put it any better myself. The fact that Sonic Youth are still making records as thrilling as this after nearly thirty years certainly demonstrates the depth of their talent.

34. THRICE: Beggars

A highly engaging and inventive record that grabs you by the scruff of the neck and simply refuses to let go... just like 'The Alchemy Index' and 'Vheissu' before it. Thrice may want to break free of the 'shackles' of their previous records, but on the evidence of this, let's hope they never do.

33. GRAMMATICS: Grammatics

Despite leaving off their best track, the gorgeous 'New Franchise', Britain's newest arty weirdos still deliver a corker of a debut with this self-titled, highly self-assured effort. And that voice, man... it's sodding heavenly.

32. CONOR OBERST AND THE MYSTIC VALLEY BAND: Outer South

Once again, Oberst proves that his skill with both the pen and the acoustic is virtually unmatched. Even better, The Mystic Valley Band manage to considerably develop their own sound without overshadowing the star of the show. Probably the best alt-folk-country record of the year.

31. THE DECEMBERISTS: The Hazards of Love

Where other bands write about hanging out down the local with your mates, The Decemberists make concept albums about women named Margaret falling in love with shape-shifting borael forest dwellers. Thankfully, 'The Hazards of Love' manages to be full of glorious pop songs as well as madcap stories, so their excesses seem inviting rather than irritating.

Top 50 Albums of 2009, part one (50-41)

Welcome, dear reader, to the Screenaged Kicks 'Top 50 Albums of 2009'. I will be posting this over the course of the next week in five separate instalments of ten records each. Today, I present you with positions 50 to 41. Check 'em out!

50. THE APPLESEED CAST: Sagarmatha

A wonderfully bizarre record that burrows into your psyche with mischevious abandon. Fascinatingly dense and gloriously sprawling.

49. IN CASE OF FIRE: Align the Planets

Sounding the like the demented love-spawn of Jared Leto and Matt Bellamy, In Case of Fire manage to make a 30 Seconds/Muse cross-over actually sound majestic. Debut album 'Align the Planets' demonstrates exactly how to do epic without lapsing into contrivance.

48. WEEZER: Raditude

It may be far from their best effort, but 'Raditude' still manages to be a bloody infectious record, chocked to the brim with stellar hooks and absolutely ridiculous lyrics. This is the sound of Rivers and co. getting away with murder and loving every minute.

47. THURSDAY: Common Existence

A surprisingly confident record from the post-hardcore noiseniks and one that manages to make potent socio-political comment without ever seeming heavy-handed.

46. TEGAN & SARA: Sainthood

'The pop album of the year' according to the Jimmy Eat World Twitterfeed and it's hard to argue with 'em. Glitzy, melodic, bloody addictive.

45. ALEXISONFIRE: Old Crows/Young Cardinals

Alexisonfire make a concerted effort to dump their screamo side on the sidewalk and the results are mightily impressive. From the heads-down intensity of the opening duo to the scathing aggression of 'Accept Crime', this is an album with something to prove. Thank God it manages it.

44. JAPANDROIDS: Post-Nothing

The Zeitgeist is all over 'em like a bad rash but don't let that put you off. 'Post-Nothing' is a brilliantly messy debut, dominated by fuzzy guitars and distorted vocals. Endearingly ramshackle.

43. DINOSAUR JR.: Farm

Proving that they're as relevant now as ever, 'Farm' is yet another top notch effort from one of the most consistent groups that the American music machine has ever spat at us. Full of cumtastically good riffs and urgent, aggressive guitars.

42. CAMERA OBSCURA: My Maudlin Career

Another album of painfully beautiful melancholia from one of the UK's best kept secrets. If only heartache actually felt this euphoric.

41. THE FLAMING LIPS: Embryonic

'Embryonic' finds The Flaming Lips as stark raving bonkers as ever - this time over two CDs! - and we really wouldn't have them any other way. Utterly absurd and unashamedly self-indulgent but all the more uplifting for it.