The 'fast-forward' button is a handy little device, isn't it? Being able to skip past everything you don't want to see in a matter of seconds, doing away with that which is infinitely less interesting. As the makers of One Tree Hill discovered a year or so ago, in television land, it's an even greater joy. Imagine being able to cut out all the pesky voyages of self-discovery and inconvenient re-locating that comes of university life, and just getting to the part where everyone's 'all growed up'... or cutting straight from the birth of little baby Benjamin right to the part where he's fifteen and it all gets really interesting. Not only would such a process help gloss over some unfortunate clashes with realism, it would also provide cast and crew alike a chance to considerably reinvent their characters; to introduce fresh, original storylines using tropes that simply wouldn't have been possible using standard chronology. Whether it was OTH's shocker of a leap that inspired him or not, Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry is quite clearly aware of this: as we all discovered with a large, collective jaw-drop at the end of the last series, Wysteria Lane has gotten another five years older overnight and the cosily familiar suburb has been shook up in every which way possible. Which, quite obviously, is a good thing. Right?
Well... kinda. Season five's Cherry-penned premiere is certainly different. Virtually every actor gets the opportunity to play beats that they never have before, and this can only be worthy of a great, whopping thumbs-up. Taking centre stage in this 'revision of the roles' is Gabrielle Solis, whose transformation from gorgeous ex-glamour model to frumpy, unadorned hausfrau is probably one of the best things the production crew have ever done. Granted, Eva Longoria is still ridiculously beautiful, but the change is certainly dramatic. No more fake tan; no more make-up; no more perfectly straightened hair. In their place, a smidgeon of chub, worn down cheekbones and a half-heartedly combed bonnet. Oh and a superbly worn down, stressed out, tired performance from Longoria herself. Her storyline may not be the most riveting in the episode - trying to combat her daughter's weight problem didn't result in as great a level of hilarity as one might have hoped - but its the subtlety of her portrayal that gives the whole thing its power, the effortless believability she imbues her intimate, 'opening up' scenes with Carlos with that make it the episode's true highlight.
Lynette and Tom's narrative is also quietly played, as Doug Savant gets the opportunity to demonstrate just how perfectly he can depict the plight of the middle aged, mid-life-crisis-addled man. It's all there: in the meticulous polishing of his (decidedly dodgy) convertible, the cringe-worthy desperation to be as cool as his troublemaking teenage twins, and the robust manner in which he lambastes his wayward sons for their misbehaviour (a wonderfully written sequence, it should be noted). Again, the plot certainly doesn't set the world on fire, or even the Scavo chip pan, but it's satisfactorily played, the beats that are presented bode well for the family's possible future stories and, above all else, we're rid of the twins that can't act. Which can only be a good thing. The remainder of the narratives, however, seem to be lacking something. Bree's transformation into Martha Stewart grates somewhat; though it is perfectly in keeping with her character to throw herself back into those things that she does best and treasures the most (cooking/cleaning etc.) when faced with disaster, callously doing best friend Katherine a great disservice by failing to credit her for the things that she is quite clearly responsible for just seems unnecessarily mean. Granted, Bree wasn't exactly the poster child for likeable when we were first introduced to her (she has mellowed over the seasons) and I'm sure Marc Cherry would highlight the fact that she has suffered several great losses - Orson being imprisoned for a while, Danielle stealing her baby back - and so this mild 'regression' is perfectly logical but, I dunno, I just didn't like it. Selfishness is not something I would readily associate with Mrs Hodge, but she has it in spades here. Perhaps something will come of this apparent characterial change and we'll see it service the plot somehow. As it stands, it just didn't sit well with me... and the sequence in which Katherine embarrasses Bree in front of the cameras was about as unpredictable as the sun rising and setting.
As for our other two housewives, there was something slightly lacking here too. Edie's much-heralded return, while welcome and containing some nice moments (particularly her hosing down of the car, a nice nod back to season one), was too tied up in the manufacturing of a potential season-long 'mystery' to really stand out on its own... which would not necessarily be a negative point, if it weren't for the fact that the jury is very much out on our oddball new guy, Dave. First and foremost, it was obvious from the moment he set foot in that house that he was harbouring some psychological 'issues', and the big 'reveal' at episode's end fell somewhat flat as a result. Secondly, haven't we all had just about enough of the 'crazies coming to infiltrate our town' motifs that Cherry keeps throwing at us? The Applewhites, the Hodges, hell even the Mayfairs to some extent... they all contain some rather disturbed folk, a few of whom transpire not to be quite as off their trolley as they might have originally appeared, who end up causing all manner of problems for our housewives. Dave appears to be only mildly different; the minutiae have changed, but the song remains the same. Each season's 'mystery' does not necessarily have to be the uncovering of a psychologically damaged individual's past or true self... I'm sure, with a little creative thought, something a little juicier could be concocted (hell, they did it rather well in season one... although you would certainly have grounds for describing Paul Young as 'unhinged'). And the same goes for poor, lonely Susan. Of course they didn't write James Denton out of the show. Of course Mike isn't gone for good, or dead as the teaser seemed to so deliciously indicate. This was also unfortunately telegraphed: every time the topic was broached, Susan would move on and then, when she finally faced her lover to confront him, we cut away to another scene. If that's not telling your viewers that there's more to this narrative than you're letting on, I don't know what is. Personally, I'd sooner Delfino was out of the picture; the constant to-ing and fro-ing between he and Susan is just plain tired. 'Will they?/Won't they?/Do they?/Don't they?'... does anyone really, sincerely care any more? Either keep them together (a la Monica and Chandler... SEE, IT CAN BE DONE) or keep them apart. NO. MORE. BLOODY. ANGSTING. Except when it's Teri Hatcher crying over the people she 'killed'; that, I can live with. That, ladies and gentlemen, is fresh and interesting.
The problem, I feel, with 'You're Gonna Love Tomorrow' is that it promises so much, but doesn't deliver a great deal. While it is arguably the function of a premiere to comfortably set up the storylines for the year, it should also absorb you into them, give the audience enough meat to chew on in order to become accustomed to the season's 'taste' and to enjoy it. Cherry's episode starts to do this in some areas, but falls rather short in others. There's just not quite enough; the changes that have been made seem very encouraging, interesting and fresh, and the show appears revitalised as a result, but the actual substance of the narrative, in many cases, is wafer thin. There is great potential demonstrated, but not enough of it actualised. And there's not anywhere near enough Andrew Van Der Kamp for my liking. Let's hope they pick up the pace in the weeks to come.
501: 'You're Gonna Love Tomorrow': 6.6
Wr: Marc Cherry; Dr: Larry Shaw
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