Monday 5 April 2010

Television review: Desperate Housewives #618: 'My Two Young Men'

618: 'My Two Young Men'

Wr: Bob Daily
Dr: David Grossman

Synopsis: Susan and Gabrielle go to extreme and shameless lenghts to top each other's kids, whereas Bree invites Sam (guest star Sam Page) over for a family dinner. A party is thrown for Mrs. McCluskey after she beats cancer, and Lynette thinks there is more to Preston's fiancée (guest star Helena Mattsson as Irina) than she's letting on. Meanwhile, Katherine comes out of the closet, though not willingly.

Review:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the most underwhelming Housewives reveal since Psycho Dave first set his sights on Mike Delfino; yes folks, you guessed it, the worst kept secret in Hollywood is finally unveiled in 'My Two Young Men' as ol' fancy-pants himself, John 'I'm gay, you know' Barrowman graces our screens for the first time, playing (you'll never guess) Patrick Logan, Angie Bolan's former nemesis and much-regretted sexual partner. The man who single-handedly transformed the brand spanking incarnation of Doctor Who into a tongue-in-cheek polysexual love fest and made Torchwood the closest thing to a hedonistic queer orgy that you're probably able to get away with at 10pm on BBC3 is well and truly 'in da haus', rocking the boat and sending shivers up and down our spines as he brutally murders Angie's mother's neighbour-cum-treacherous informant for no good reason other than to seem a bit menacing. God love Marc Cherry, eh? He always casts his super-celebs in befitting roles and has never once hired anyone purely out of a desperate desire for ratings and publicity. Nope, definitely. Not.

Such sarcasm is perhaps a little unfair on our Barrowman, mind. He's perfectly passable here, delivering a performance that, while certainly no stranger to hyperbole, is no more ridiculous than anything else we've come to expect from this most amateur dramatic of shows. In fact, this is probably more understated than most of us expected; it's an interesting decision to have him play the villain and it's a challenge to which he seems quite determined to rise. His charming veneer is a good offset to the sinister sociopath underneath, and the calm, concentrated approach through which he channels his dialogue has a somewhat unnerving effect, unsettling the viewer slightly so that his ultimate turn has a greater impact. Barrowman has enough of a solid skill set to make this role work and to provide some genuine menace, so hopefully, Cherry and co. will rein in their penchant for bombast and grafted-on drama and allow the portrayal to work for itself. Currently, the scenario has a considerable degree of promise, given that it remains relatively shrouded in mystery (it is still unclear whether Julie's attempted murder is connected to this, and the Bolen history requires a great deal of fleshing out), so hopefully, we'll see a notable upturn in the amount of screen time devoted to it, and at the very least, a relatively believable delineation of the issues surrounding eco-terrorism. If Cherry and his band of Merry Men (and Women) take enough time and have sufficient patience to research their topic, this could actually be quite entertaining. Unfortunately, if weeks past are any indication, chances are they'll botch the whole thing and Angie and Patrick will just kick a load of bins around Wysteria Lane for a few weeks.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. This particular aspect of the plot is one of the stronger elements of 'All the Young Men', standing neatly alongside Bree's narrative and certain features of the ever-blossoming relationship between Katherine and Robin. Yes, you read that right folks, that's praise for the lesbianism right there. And no, it's not just because we're about to promptly get rid of it for a little while; it's for the sensitivity with which the issue is handled here. There's a strong undercurrent of believability running the course of the plot, allowing both characters to come to life far more than they have since the scissoring began (okay, okay, I'm sorry...) Katherine's reluctance to openly out herself is completely in keeping with her personality, while Robin's determination to show everyone how happy she is fits well with what's been established about her. When Katherine ultimately asks her to leave, it's one of the most human moments that Housewives has provided in quite some time. And even though the moment is qualified by Mayfair deciding to elope with her, this doesn't negate the scene's impact. If anything, it strengthens it; here, finally, we have a sudden same sex relationship that doesn't balk at the first sign of commitment, that isn't subjected to the restoration of heteronormative equilibrium. Hopefully, Cherry won't simply return Katherine to the Lane in a few weeks in a heartbroken state and have her fall straight into the arms of the nearest gym-happy hunk. Fingers crossed.

Equally as surprising is Bree's story, in which there are aspects that actually manage to be relatively engaging. The resurgence of Rex, the restoration of his importance to Mrs. Van Der Kamp, is certainly welcome as not only does it allow for a considerable level of fond nostalgia, but it also gives a better grounding to Bree as a character. Marcia Cross is superb here, perfectly evoking the melancholic joy and pain of a woman who has so potently loved and lost. It's a good reminder of from whence the show has came, and the reasons why we fell in love with Marcia's character in the first place. It also offers Shawn Pyfrom and Joy Lauren a chance to take a trip down memory lane and play the sort of beats that their characters seemed to lose a long, long time ago. There's a thoroughly believable sense of tension permeating every scene involving Sam, and certainly no more so than in the moderately amusing dinner sequence. Sadly, the writers do lapse into their usual hyperbolic selves at times: Andrew's ill-fated attempt to play guitar is one such hideous display, while the lingering, sinister looks that Sam throws to, well, no one in particular since they are a rubbish semiotic attempt to infer that there's more to him than meets the eye, are rather laughable. The jury is certainly out on whether this is a sensible development; when it was revealed that the guy was more than a creepy groupie determined to become Bree's son by proxy, the story seemed salvaged from mediocrity. Now, however, it seems that this may have been the writers' plan all along... and the only thing saving it from proving utterly abhorrent is the suggestion that Orson and Andrew might be working together in the weeks to come, and this could be an interesting coupling. Of course, this is small fry compared to what the story could turn into, so it's probably going to take a lot more to fix the problem if it occurs.

For a great number of these stories, success is predicated on the fact that they have yet to prove problematic; the potential is there for complete and utter disaster but thankfully, Housewives hasn't yet turned those corners. Certainly, this is a less than desirable format; we're essentially just waiting for the programme to disappoint and applauding, apprehensively, when it doesn't. However, this is arguably far more preferable than the considerable amount of dross that fills up the rest of the hour, as first Lynette's and then Gabrielle and Susan's joint narratives threaten to suck the life and soul out of the party and leave the viewer desperate to sew up their own eyelids with a pine needle. Yes, the 'extraneous character whose true intentions are hidden from the one person who should be able to see them' simply refuses to die, offering up a plot that is as predictable as the transformation of night into day. She's bringing the wedding forward and there's nothing Lynette can do about it! Any objections simply... lead to further estrangement from her son! They... manage to successfully manoeuvre around any and every obstacle thrown their way! Well, whaddya know, huh? A plot that stretches itself out for the maximum amount of time without ever proving even the remotest bit challenging or satisfying, and that will unquestionably fizzle out in two weeks time when Lynette finally gets through to Preston. How riveting!

This all just feels so pointless precisely because we know it will have no lasting impact. It is simply more contrived upset for its own sake; there's nothing here that has added or will add anything to the palate of the characters involved. And the less said about that absolute travesty of a plot involving the Solis and Delfino kids the better; seriously, are they really doing this again? Mere weeks after the last ridiculous competition between the two? You know, the one about beavers and monkeys or whatever that just wasn't funny? Well, what do you know... it's equally as banal again, bereft of any semblance of comedy whatsoever. In fact, it even manages to be rather insulting as MJ's mother makes him sit in a wheelchair for crying out loud, and pretend to be a bloody disabled boy in an attempt to sell some cookies! I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing that Gabrielle, yet alone Susan, would stoop so low. Honestly, this is all just pointless, humourless filler that wastes a great deal of valuable time and manages to insult the viewer's intelligence simultaneously. For God's sake, do something different for a change, Housewives. Don't rehash plots that were bloody awful to begin with!

'My Two Young Men' is something of a curate's egg. While the episode continues to demonstrate the writing staff's apparent inability to create something wholly fresh and interesting, resorting in at least two of their narratives to ripping themselves off shamelessly and doing a decidedly botched job of it, at the same time, there are certain elements that manage to both engage and provide a semblance of hope for the remainder of the season. In a shocking twist, the show actually deals with its ratings-grabbing same sex romance in a surprisingly sensitive and believable fashion (let's put aside Lee's reference to 'speedo season', shall we?), while the debut appearance of John Barrowman and the development of Bree's storyline are both notably well handled. All of these stories have the potential to go off the deep end but thankfully, Housewives appears to be hedging its bets for the time being and resisting the temptation to descend into complete banality. Hope for the future, then, but with a great deal to improve upon in the present. 6.8

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