612: 'You Gotta Get A Gimmick'
Wr: Joe Keenan
Dr: David Grossman
Synopsis: Susan turns up the heat for Mike, whereas Lynette discovers Tom's true intentions. Gabrielle is forced to examine feelings she's suppressed regarding her heritage, and Bree learns it'll be hard to undo the hurt she's caused Orson. In the meantime, Ana is more determined to land Danny.
Review: Felicity Huffman, where would Desperate Housewives be without you? Up poop creek without a paddle, that's where. While we find ourselves hopping onboard the endless Scavo merry-go-round of job acquisition for the seventeen millionth time, as Tom decides that he knows what's best for Lynette and informs Carlos that she won't be returning to work when the baby is born, Huffman rescues the whole thing from being another dead-end, eye-rolling rehash by delivering a star turn when Lynette breaks down and confesses her true feelings about the loss of her other child to her husband. It's a beautifully harrowing sequence, full of heartbreakingly believable emotion. It's a shame that Teri Hatcher can't muster up a similar range in order to salvage her car crash of a B-story, which is predicated, yet again, on her penchant for over-reaction. Sure, the idea that she now owns a strip club is enough to raise at least a smirk, but the direction that the writers choose to take the story in is probably the most Housewives achingly obvious anyone could dream of. And that pay-off... if any single member of the viewing audience actually buys into that, I'll eat my hat. Actually, scratch that, I'll eat my entire wardrobe. "Yeah, I know, Susan'll show Mike how upset she is by working the pole herself! Yeah, that'll raise a titter... and get the dads shifting uncomfortably in their seats too! PHWOOOOOARRR!" Euck. There's nothing like sacrificing believability for a few cheap thrills, is there?
Elsewhere, the writers take the Orson/Bree dynamic down the road most expected, but at least Cross and MacLachlan have enough chemistry to keep the thing afloat and allow the audience to actually invest in their relationship. Let's hope things don't miraculously improve for them in the space of a few episodes. Gabrielle and Carlos actually get something remotely interesting to do as someone finally realises the potential inherent in having, you know, some diverse ethnic representation on the Lane. Well hell, at least it isn't just Gabrielle being selfish for once. And then there's Ana's quest to 'land' Danny, a storyline that is made all the more depressing by the fact that it only seems to take a mild change in tone to turn him round to her feminine wiles, despite showing absolutely no prior interest. Oh well, young love is fickle I suppose. But does anyone actually care about these two? They're so underused and underdeveloped that it's hard to muster up a shred of interest in their burgeoning romance. Especially when it comes at the expense of, you know, actual plot progression on that most important of points that is being squarely ignored: who the hell strangled Julie Mayer? 'You Gotta Get A Gimmick' is a bit of a nowhere episode, nudging a handful of narratives forward but couching the rest in fairly meaningless fluff (Susan/Mike, I'm looking at you). And where was Shawn Pyfrom, huh? He's in the 'guest starring' credits but unless I blinked and missed it, nowhere to be found onscreen! Now THAT would've improved things somewhat... 6.6
613: 'How About A Friendly Shrink?'
Wr: Jason Ganzel
Dr: Lonny Price
Synopsis: Lynette balks at the idea of seeing a couples' therapist. In the meantime, Katherine is seeing her own psychiatrist, whereas Gabrielle and Susan are determined to find out which of their kids are in the smartest math group at school, Orson makes life harder for Bree and Angie disapproves of Danny's new girlfriend.
Review: Oh yay, Katherine's back. Whoopdie do. Here's to another three or four weeks of irritatingly unbelievable batshit kookiness. Or not. Instead, Desperate Housewives takes the road less travelled and actually dares to give the poor gal some of her dignity back, albeit at a rather fast pace. Oh wait, she's on some form of miraculous medication that's keeping her from believing that she's talking to people who aren't there. Yeah, that makes it okay. Still, no matter. Everyone and their uncle would probably rather THIS Mayfair was knocking around Wysteria Lane instead of the one whose mere presence in the frame was enough to make you start throwing your well-cooked dinner at the screen. Refreshingly, we actually get a well written
insight into the inner workings of the poor woman's mind as she confesses, on the psychatrist's couch, just what exactly what is going on up there since Mike kicked her battered and bruised heart to the kerb. That final scene, in which Mrs McLuskey brings the Wysteria gals to the hospital, can be forgiven its hideous predictability and mawkishness because, well, it just makes you feel all warm inside, doesn't it? No? Okay...
How about Bree and Orson's relationship, eh? Kyle MacLachlan proves himself a master of comedic timing and nuance here, perfectly pitching his outbursts for optimum laughs. Just check him out as he's fuming over his food or accusing his wife of domestic abuse. Priceless. And the subsequent pay-off, in which he confesses his frustrations while soaked from head to toe, in the front garden, in his bathrobe, is positively heartbreaking. It's a shame the other stories couldn't be this delightfully written: Susan and Gabrielle's jealousy-fest is thoroughly excerable, a pointless exercise in over-the-top oneupmanship that does absolutely nothing for either character and is about as believable as David Cameron's prospective election campaign. Does anyone in their right actually believe that a school would go so far as to hide the true nature of the ability level groups that children have been placed in from their parents? Isn't that just asking for trouble? And shouldn't Susan know better, given that, you know, she's a bloody teacher? I don't know about you, but I had her pegged as a woman of honour and trust, not one that balks at the very sign that her son might not be a sodding genius.
What else? Oh yes, Lynette and Tom. The never-ending cycle of marital bliss/strife/bliss/strife/bliss/strife continues to play itself out, although with the added bonus of a 'thoughts journal' that raises a few smirks and a nice little scene in which Lynette is tricked into getting herself down on the psychiatrist's couch. While this may lead to somewhere remotely interesting (possibly), it all seems rather ineffectual for now, reliant yet again on tropes that are sorely lacking in originality. Not the most outstanding of episodes, then, but at least we can put that sorry 'Katherine is loopy' business to bed. Hopefully. Now if only we could say the same about Danny's sudden about-turn with Ana. Come on... poetry? Please. Get that boy in his birthday suit and feed him to Shawn Pyrom. Now. 6.9
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