107: 'In Which We Meet Mr. Jones'
Writers: Jeff Pinkner & J.J. Abrams
Director: Brad Anderson
Synopsis: A genetically-engineered parasite mysteriously latches onto a FBI agent's heart. Agent Dunham rushes to Germany to meet a prisoner for information about the threat they face.
Review: As is to be expected when the name 'J.J. Abrams' flashes across the screen under the writer's credit, 'In Which We Meet Mr. Jones' is a kooky head-scratcher of an episode that asks many more questions than it answers and leaves a tantalisingly large number of intriguing plot threads dangling for pursuit in future episodes. Mr. Jones is a wonderfully eerie character, a sort of Hannibal Lecter for the technophile generation, and is ably depicted by the excellent Jared Harris. The episode's individual narrative is suitably well woven to keep the viewer guessing through to the final, somewhat shocking, revelatory moments, and Brad Anderson's direction has a subtly methodical sheen to it that succeeds in grounding the rather fast-moving plot in an undercurrent of tension. If it weren't for the unnecessary, and rather trad, distraction of Olivia's sojourn around Frankfurt with her former love interest, we'd have a top notch episode on our hands. 8.7
108: 'The Equation'
Writers: David H. Goodman & J.R. Orci
Director: Gwenyth Horder-Paton
Synopsis: Walter's former bunkmate at the mental institute is linked to the abduction of a young musical prodigy by a serial kidnapper. Peter is concerned when Walter insists on going back to the mental institute to solve the case.
Review: 'The Equation' gives John Noble a chance to shine and shine he does, stealing the entire 45 minutes with a performance that jolts from scatterbrained to fiery to empathetic and back again in a matter of seconds without ever seeming hokum or excessive, which is no small feat. That he manages to retain the viewer's sympathies throughout is even more remarkable and simply underlines the successful nature of the show's recent developments of Walter Bishop's character. His sequences with Dashiell, a fine character in himself, are particularly representative of this, striking a painfully believable chord in a somewhat absurd narratalogical scenario, thanks to a combination of powerful dialogue and considered performance. Orci and Goodman's script is considerably strong as it combines an intriguing premise with a satisfying degree of character development, giving it a level of cohesion that was perhaps lacking in some of the season's earlier episodes. A definite winner. 9.0
109: 'The Dreamscape'
Writers: Zack Whedon & Julia Cho
Director: Frederick E.O. Toye
Synopsis: A Massive Dynamic employee leaps to his death after hallucinating a butterfly attack. Agent Scott proves useful in investigating the case, but a frustrated Olivia wants to remove him from her consciousness once and for all. Meanwhile, Peter deals with some enemies from his past.
Review: It's Massive Dynamic on the chopping block this week as employees fall to their death after hallucinating sinister butterfly attacks and former contractors claim they're 'out to get everyone'. Or words to that effect. It was clear from the off that Fringe's very own Dharma Intiative, sorry, dodgy scientific corporation, had hands dirtier than a coal miner's and that that Nina woman was more than she appeared. It would be a shame, however, if the show's mythology were this simplistic and MD were the 'big bad wolf', so to speak, but given the complexities we've been presented with in recent weeks, it would seem that this is not to be the case. Still, it's fun to watch Olivia panic over John Scott again and, while the decision to have the guy reappear to his former lover whenever he has some deep-rooted knowledge about a case she is investigating simply screams deux et machina, at least these occurrences remain fairly few and far between. Plus, we get the deliciously eerie 'dream' sequence in which Olivia relives her first date with Mr. Scott and he sees her in the present. It's precisely this sort of knife-turning twist that the show's production staff excel at and it's played to perfection here. The remainder of the episode is a little lightweight; the foray into Peter's personal life seems a little superfluous and the case investigation lacks the usual punch, but on the whole, this is another suitably satisfying instalment. 8.2
110: 'Safe'
Writers: David H. Goodman & Jason Cahill
Director: Michael Zinberg
Synopsis: The team is called in to investigate a bank robbery when one of the thieves is found embedded in a solid wall. Walter believes they're after something of his, but things take a turn for the worse when the thieves ambush one of them.
Review: Well this was a turn up for the books, wasn't it? Olivia abducted, Mr. Jones out of prison, Walter Bishop in lack of kooky one liners shocker... Fringe really pulled out all the stops in its last episode before the Christmas break in an attempt to keep us all suitably perched on the edge of seats for the next run and boy, did it succeed. Goodman and Cahill's script is positively brimming with hair-pullingly frustrating enigmas: from the question of what purpose it serves to abduct Ms Dunham to the big fat "WTF??!!" regarding the component parts of the device that Bishop invented and its apparent ability to, um, beam people and things from one space to another, rather like, you know, the transporters in Star Trek. Yup, any semblance of believability in the show's science has finally been well and truly discarded, but that doesn't seem to matter anyway; from the beginning, Fringe only ever engaged in a casual dalliance with scientific realism and, ultimately, it's the more outright bizarre moments that have proven to be the most memorable and, indeed, enjoyable. 'Safe' works beautifully as a result of this, keeping its audience just the right side of baffled, bemused and bewildered in order to generate intrigue and a desire for more. Kinda like that other little show that J.J. Abrams created. Back in a week or so, there's a plane in it and some black smoke... you know the one. 9.2
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Monday, 5 January 2009
"Who?!"
It's the question everyone seems to be asking. "Matt Smith? Eh? Say that again? Matt.... Smith? Never heard of him. Are you sure that's right? Give it here... Matt. Smith. WHO?"
Well, exactly. Who. As in Doctor. As in the Eleventh. Does no one else see how deliciously appropriate it is to cast someone who is relatively unknown to the general public in the role of a character who is supposed to be relatively unknown to the general public? No? Okay, just me then.
Personally, I think it's a fantastic decision. Good on Steven Moffat for refusing to bow to any external pressure to cast a familiar face or a 'popular vote'. I have every confidence in his decision... not least because the man is one of the most talented writers currently active in the industry. His Doctor Who scripts have been amongst the best (if not the actual best) in the four years it's been back on the air, so I am wearing my nails down in anticipation of what he can do for the series when at the helm. And if he was blown away by young Mr. Smith, then I am certain that I will be.
There seems to be rather a lot of whining going on about the poor man's age. "He's only 26, the BBC have cast a toddler, he doesn't have the acting experience to be able to convey a character like the Doctor." Tish pshaw and nonsense. Such ageism is completely unwarranted. There is no reason why an actor of any age could not play a character as 'complex' as the Doctor; if they have the talent, the longevity of their time on this Earth, or indeed in the acting business, shouldn't matter. I don't doubt there are people walking down the street who have never even contemplated acting as a career in their lives who could do it, hands down. The Doctor doesn't need to be an older man; he doesn't need to be anything. That's the beauty of the part. With each regeneration, he can look like anyone. He can be anyone. And in 2010, he'll be Matt Smith. The Eleventh Doctor. And the best darn looking one at that.
Oh, and this press release photo really whets my appetite even more. If that's how Matt's Doctor will look, then sign me up for a date with my cable TV box on Saturday nights at 7pm. And it isn't just his garb that gets the Whovian (pah, hate that term) inside me all giddy: just look at the framing of the image, the lighting, the colours, the locale. It's grim. Really, truly grim. And bloody fantastic.
Well, exactly. Who. As in Doctor. As in the Eleventh. Does no one else see how deliciously appropriate it is to cast someone who is relatively unknown to the general public in the role of a character who is supposed to be relatively unknown to the general public? No? Okay, just me then.
Personally, I think it's a fantastic decision. Good on Steven Moffat for refusing to bow to any external pressure to cast a familiar face or a 'popular vote'. I have every confidence in his decision... not least because the man is one of the most talented writers currently active in the industry. His Doctor Who scripts have been amongst the best (if not the actual best) in the four years it's been back on the air, so I am wearing my nails down in anticipation of what he can do for the series when at the helm. And if he was blown away by young Mr. Smith, then I am certain that I will be.
There seems to be rather a lot of whining going on about the poor man's age. "He's only 26, the BBC have cast a toddler, he doesn't have the acting experience to be able to convey a character like the Doctor." Tish pshaw and nonsense. Such ageism is completely unwarranted. There is no reason why an actor of any age could not play a character as 'complex' as the Doctor; if they have the talent, the longevity of their time on this Earth, or indeed in the acting business, shouldn't matter. I don't doubt there are people walking down the street who have never even contemplated acting as a career in their lives who could do it, hands down. The Doctor doesn't need to be an older man; he doesn't need to be anything. That's the beauty of the part. With each regeneration, he can look like anyone. He can be anyone. And in 2010, he'll be Matt Smith. The Eleventh Doctor. And the best darn looking one at that.
Oh, and this press release photo really whets my appetite even more. If that's how Matt's Doctor will look, then sign me up for a date with my cable TV box on Saturday nights at 7pm. And it isn't just his garb that gets the Whovian (pah, hate that term) inside me all giddy: just look at the framing of the image, the lighting, the colours, the locale. It's grim. Really, truly grim. And bloody fantastic.
Review catch up: Heroes
308: ‘Villains’
Writer: Rob Fresco
Director: Allan Arkush
Synopsis: Hiro attempts to delve into Arthur Petrelli's past to uncover the mystery behind him creating a rival company Pinehearst and his hatred towards Angela. Sylar stricken by guilt tries to stop his murderous ways with HRG and Elle vying for his blood. Meredith's training goes up in smoke with the arrival of her brother.
Review: An interesting, if slightly flawed, episode that takes one of the show’s most endearing staples – messing about with chronology – and plays continuity keepy-up with it. Rob Fresco is clearly having a wail of time, sewing together minor plot points from episodes, nay seasons, back with our contemporary cast of characters and their situations; so we get deft nods to the pilot with HRG first stepping into Mohinder’s cab and Meredith causing the fire that Claire ran through, as well as an opportunity to explain some of the more niggling questions that have hung high over the heads of certain players in the cast for quite some time. Angela’s distrusting malice is at least on its way to being afforded some context; Arthur’s death is given an enlighteningly sinister backdrop (how eerie is that scene?); and, of course, Flint and Meredith are revealed to be, shucks, faaaamily which, well, is kinda obvious now we all think about it. Plus we get to see Eric Roberts again which can only be a good thing… where ‘Villains’ stumbles slightly, however, is in the execution of Sylar’s story which, despite admirable attempts by all involved, comes across as rather cack-handed. The key to the problem lies in the inclusion of Elle: while there is a nice foreshadowing line in ‘The Butterfly Effect’ when the two meet in Level 5 (go on… look it up!), I just don’t buy that the two were involved. Perhaps it’s that they have zero chemistry. Maybe it’s the way it smacks of revisionism: all too often in Heroes, the production staff seem determined to connect the current state of play to what has come before, regardless of whether it makes logical sense. It’s as if they feel the need to erase ‘the new’ by making it ‘the old’… but of course, progression is the natural course of an on-running narrative and characters can weave in and out without having to have been there all along. Still, a good effort and kudos for the fan-pleasing attention to detail: changing the show title to the episode title, what scamps! 8.2
309: ‘It’s Coming’
Writer: Tim Kring
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Synopsis: Nathan learns of his father's plans, while Flint and Knox launch attacks on Hiro, Ando, Peter, and Claire. Meanwhile, Matt tries to revive Angela, Sylar meets with Elle, and Mohinder begins testing of his newest superpower formula
Review: Tim Kring puts pen to paper and strikes another one out of the park. After a couple of solid but slightly unimpressive episodes, it’s good to see Heroes on fighting form again. The plot is tight, structured neatly around the impending arrival of ‘something big’, which lends the individual narrative strands a cohesion that has been a little lacking of late. There’s a nice thematic juxtaposition between the gung ho action fest of Flint and Knox’s villainous terrorising of our heroes and the quiet, psychological manipulation of dear, sweet Angela by a gruesomely diabolical Arthur Petrelli (kudos to Greg Yaitanes here too, these scenes are superbly chilling). And then, of course, there’s Sylar’s torture at the hands of a grieving Elle, which has to rank as one of the most horrific, but simultaneously touching, moments of the entire series. A highly effective marriage of plot and character development then, which is exactly what drew us all to the show in the first place. 9.0
310: ‘The Eclipse, part one’
Writers: Aron Eli Coleite & Joe Pokaski
Director: Greg Beeman
Synopsis: The eclipse plays havoc with the heroes' powers. Arthur orders Elle and Sylar to bring in Claire. Hiro, Ando, and Matt follow Daphne to her hometown to learn what hold Arthur has on her, and Peter and Nathan travel to the Haitian's hometown to recruit him for the war with Pinehearst.
Review: Um. Don’t eclipses last for like, seconds? Minutes? And er… how, exactly, can a total eclipse be seen in Kansas and Haiti at the same time? (Okay, I suppose you could argue that the time scales don’t have to match up but come on…) Putting aside the scientific grumbles that will inevitably result from an episode like this, the first part of the big ‘Eclipse’ story is… well… a bit meh, really. ‘It’s Coming’ promised something epic; ‘The Eclipse’ gives us a load of hot air. Great, so the heroes’ abilities have disappeared. So, apparently, has the writers’ ability to make them interesting. Elle and Sylar’s ‘dangerous’ run around smacks of panic-induced padding on Coleite and Pokaski’s part; needing to fill an extra five minutes with material that doesn’t quicken the pace of the over-arching narrative. The Haitian’s story comes entirely out of left field and falls entirely flat. The viewer is given nowhere near enough time to process the context of the situation: Nathan and Peter quite literally fall into the guy’s fight with his brother (the ludicrously named Baron Samedi) while it’s supposedly in full swing and yet we barely get to see any of it. Worse, Samedi doesn’t even appear on screen and is merely referenced in off-the-cuff epithets about how much of a ‘bad guy’ he is. This is no way to ‘sell’ a threat, no way to build it into an exciting, suspenseful race against time to rescue the heroes from the villains. I found it difficult to give a jot about what the Haitian was up to, to be honest, and the Petrelli brothers’ incessant pointless bickering only exacerbated matters. Ironically, it is Matt’s virtual non-storyline that is the highlight of the episode, if only because it gets to showcase the delightful comic talents of Masi Oka and actually lends his relationship with Daphne, and her character, some much needed depth. Something of a wasted opportunity. 6.7
311: ‘The Eclipse, part two’
Writers: Aron Eli Coleite & Joe Pokaski
Director: Holly Dale
Synopsis: The eclipse continues to create chaos. Sylar and Elle face HRG's wrath. Peter, Nathan and the Haitian go up against Baron Samedi. Ando, Sam, and Frack try to help Hiro with his memory loss.
Review: The eclipse drags on and so does the show, treading water in the advancement of the central storylines for the second week in a row and, in many aspects, failing to generate the weighty level of tension that ‘It’s Coming’ seemed to promise us all. Everyone has a good run around again (apart from Hiro that is, who gets to have a few moments with Seth Green… nice geeky touch there, guys) and, for the most part, it all seems rather superfluous. I still don’t care about Baron Samedi, even after the Haitian killed him in one of the most immensely cool ways possible. Sylar and Elle’s transformation from the hunters to the hunted becomes tiresome after a while as, once again, it falls back on the somewhat beleaguered, well-worn ‘conflict’ between hero and villain. Shades of grey, yeah, we get it guys. Seriously. No need to beat us around the head with it anymore. The decision to have Gabriel murder his lover is also somewhat questionable: while one suspects the writers were attempting to illustrate how he straddles the line between black and white, they actually reveal to us all just how desperate they are to ‘complicate’ their characters. It’s a forced narrative swerve and doesn’t scan at all, feeling artificial rather than immersing you in the show’s ‘reality’. The same can be said of Nathan’s completely unprecedented decision to side with Arthur: all because he saw how powers could help people in Haiti? Um, hasn’t the guy been aware of that since season one? This is conflict created for conflict’s sake and, therefore, the viewer simply cannot buy into it. One to watch on auto pilot, with the bare minimum of thought. 6.7
312: ‘Our Father’
Writers: Adam Armus & Kay Foster
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Synopsis: Hiro and Claire unite in their bid to stop Arthur by travelling back in time. Peter and the Haitian must face Sylar in order to get to Arthur. Ando, Daphne and Matt search for the last 9th Wonders! story.
Review: Ya-tah! Something good at last. ‘Our Father’ is a dramatic improvement on the laborious trudge-fest of ‘The Eclipse’ two parter and, while there is still a little too much running around for my liking, the overall impression is one of a well structured, nicely woven tale. The obvious highlight is Hiro and Claire’s excursion into the past which is beautifully executed in all aspects: check out the sumptuous cinematography, the highly evocative direction and, perhaps most importantly, the strength of the acting which, by all accounts, is a complete hole in one. Tamlyn Tomita does an admirable job and George Takei is predictably awesome, but what about Masi Oka, eh? Going from token comedy fodder to haphazard cutie to thoroughly moving emotional wreck in the space of thirty short minutes is no small feat; the guy surely deserves some sort of award. I don’t know about you but I was about to ready to bawl halfway through his moment with his mom… in fact, I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it. This is a wonderful piece of character polishing that just hammers home exactly how fantastic Heroes can be when it sets its mind to it. There’s Sylar’s completely unexpected slaying of Arthur to herald too, as well as the guilty pleasure that is the pursuit of the last 9th Wonders and, of course, Nathan’s mission to turn a bunch of soldiers into super-humans which, bizarrely, wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. A solid run into the fall, and volume, finale. 9.0
313: ‘Dual’
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Director: Greg Beeman
Synopsis: Nathan and Peter face off, and Nathan makes a move with far reaching consequences. Sylar takes desperate measures at Primatech and the fates of several heroes hang in the balance. Ando, Matt, and Daphne continue their quest to save Hiro.
Review: Hmm… don’t know about you guys but ‘Dual’ left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. Loeb’s script suffers from the weight of fall finale expectation: the script attempts to tidy up too many narrative strands that have built over the course of the last thirteen episodes. Resultantly, certain aspects of the plot aren’t given enough space to breathe and fall rather flat in their resolution: case in point, the retrieval of the formula which is as simple as 1-2-punch, lights out Tracey Strauss. Given the importance lent to this particular strand in the preceding episodes, it seems to deserve more than simply a thirty second quick-fire outcome. Ando and Daphne’s rescue of Hiro also makes no scientific sense whatsoever, despite the script’s attempts to make it do so (Einstein’s theory relates to travelling forward in time, not backward). And then, of course, there’s Nathan’s volte-face, his complete and utter rejection of his beloved brother who, despite inexplicably turning a gun on him at the start of the episode, still demonstrates his love by injecting himself with that ruddy formula and saving his life. Again. Look, I’m all for the conflict; really, I am. It just needs many, many more episodes of build up, much more time to get to the stage of all out resentment that it currently sits at. It smacks far too much of a set-up: the movement of narrative pieces so that they are correctly positioned for the next wave of story. And, at episode’s end, we find that it is exactly that: oh look, Nathan’s only advocating a hero Holocaust… to the President, no less! What a cad! Okay, okay, I’ll back down… I confess, Fugitives certainly does seem interesting and definitely shows promise. But meh… I just don’t really like how we got there. Best part of ‘Dual’? Sylar’s delicious manipulation of the most dysfunctional family never to have set foot on The Jeremy Kyle Show. This is brilliantly suspenseful stuff, chillingly claustrophobic and full of cold, hardened malice, and harkens back to the wonderfully executed sequences between Sylar and Claire in the opening episode of the volume. I loved every eerie second (well, except for that bit about Sylar’s parents being some other freaks… honestly, can’t we have a bit of straightforward honesty in this show?) and it almost makes up for the somewhat lacklustre nature of the rest of the episode. Almost. 7.3
Writer: Rob Fresco
Director: Allan Arkush
Synopsis: Hiro attempts to delve into Arthur Petrelli's past to uncover the mystery behind him creating a rival company Pinehearst and his hatred towards Angela. Sylar stricken by guilt tries to stop his murderous ways with HRG and Elle vying for his blood. Meredith's training goes up in smoke with the arrival of her brother.
Review: An interesting, if slightly flawed, episode that takes one of the show’s most endearing staples – messing about with chronology – and plays continuity keepy-up with it. Rob Fresco is clearly having a wail of time, sewing together minor plot points from episodes, nay seasons, back with our contemporary cast of characters and their situations; so we get deft nods to the pilot with HRG first stepping into Mohinder’s cab and Meredith causing the fire that Claire ran through, as well as an opportunity to explain some of the more niggling questions that have hung high over the heads of certain players in the cast for quite some time. Angela’s distrusting malice is at least on its way to being afforded some context; Arthur’s death is given an enlighteningly sinister backdrop (how eerie is that scene?); and, of course, Flint and Meredith are revealed to be, shucks, faaaamily which, well, is kinda obvious now we all think about it. Plus we get to see Eric Roberts again which can only be a good thing… where ‘Villains’ stumbles slightly, however, is in the execution of Sylar’s story which, despite admirable attempts by all involved, comes across as rather cack-handed. The key to the problem lies in the inclusion of Elle: while there is a nice foreshadowing line in ‘The Butterfly Effect’ when the two meet in Level 5 (go on… look it up!), I just don’t buy that the two were involved. Perhaps it’s that they have zero chemistry. Maybe it’s the way it smacks of revisionism: all too often in Heroes, the production staff seem determined to connect the current state of play to what has come before, regardless of whether it makes logical sense. It’s as if they feel the need to erase ‘the new’ by making it ‘the old’… but of course, progression is the natural course of an on-running narrative and characters can weave in and out without having to have been there all along. Still, a good effort and kudos for the fan-pleasing attention to detail: changing the show title to the episode title, what scamps! 8.2
309: ‘It’s Coming’
Writer: Tim Kring
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Synopsis: Nathan learns of his father's plans, while Flint and Knox launch attacks on Hiro, Ando, Peter, and Claire. Meanwhile, Matt tries to revive Angela, Sylar meets with Elle, and Mohinder begins testing of his newest superpower formula
Review: Tim Kring puts pen to paper and strikes another one out of the park. After a couple of solid but slightly unimpressive episodes, it’s good to see Heroes on fighting form again. The plot is tight, structured neatly around the impending arrival of ‘something big’, which lends the individual narrative strands a cohesion that has been a little lacking of late. There’s a nice thematic juxtaposition between the gung ho action fest of Flint and Knox’s villainous terrorising of our heroes and the quiet, psychological manipulation of dear, sweet Angela by a gruesomely diabolical Arthur Petrelli (kudos to Greg Yaitanes here too, these scenes are superbly chilling). And then, of course, there’s Sylar’s torture at the hands of a grieving Elle, which has to rank as one of the most horrific, but simultaneously touching, moments of the entire series. A highly effective marriage of plot and character development then, which is exactly what drew us all to the show in the first place. 9.0
310: ‘The Eclipse, part one’
Writers: Aron Eli Coleite & Joe Pokaski
Director: Greg Beeman
Synopsis: The eclipse plays havoc with the heroes' powers. Arthur orders Elle and Sylar to bring in Claire. Hiro, Ando, and Matt follow Daphne to her hometown to learn what hold Arthur has on her, and Peter and Nathan travel to the Haitian's hometown to recruit him for the war with Pinehearst.
Review: Um. Don’t eclipses last for like, seconds? Minutes? And er… how, exactly, can a total eclipse be seen in Kansas and Haiti at the same time? (Okay, I suppose you could argue that the time scales don’t have to match up but come on…) Putting aside the scientific grumbles that will inevitably result from an episode like this, the first part of the big ‘Eclipse’ story is… well… a bit meh, really. ‘It’s Coming’ promised something epic; ‘The Eclipse’ gives us a load of hot air. Great, so the heroes’ abilities have disappeared. So, apparently, has the writers’ ability to make them interesting. Elle and Sylar’s ‘dangerous’ run around smacks of panic-induced padding on Coleite and Pokaski’s part; needing to fill an extra five minutes with material that doesn’t quicken the pace of the over-arching narrative. The Haitian’s story comes entirely out of left field and falls entirely flat. The viewer is given nowhere near enough time to process the context of the situation: Nathan and Peter quite literally fall into the guy’s fight with his brother (the ludicrously named Baron Samedi) while it’s supposedly in full swing and yet we barely get to see any of it. Worse, Samedi doesn’t even appear on screen and is merely referenced in off-the-cuff epithets about how much of a ‘bad guy’ he is. This is no way to ‘sell’ a threat, no way to build it into an exciting, suspenseful race against time to rescue the heroes from the villains. I found it difficult to give a jot about what the Haitian was up to, to be honest, and the Petrelli brothers’ incessant pointless bickering only exacerbated matters. Ironically, it is Matt’s virtual non-storyline that is the highlight of the episode, if only because it gets to showcase the delightful comic talents of Masi Oka and actually lends his relationship with Daphne, and her character, some much needed depth. Something of a wasted opportunity. 6.7
311: ‘The Eclipse, part two’
Writers: Aron Eli Coleite & Joe Pokaski
Director: Holly Dale
Synopsis: The eclipse continues to create chaos. Sylar and Elle face HRG's wrath. Peter, Nathan and the Haitian go up against Baron Samedi. Ando, Sam, and Frack try to help Hiro with his memory loss.
Review: The eclipse drags on and so does the show, treading water in the advancement of the central storylines for the second week in a row and, in many aspects, failing to generate the weighty level of tension that ‘It’s Coming’ seemed to promise us all. Everyone has a good run around again (apart from Hiro that is, who gets to have a few moments with Seth Green… nice geeky touch there, guys) and, for the most part, it all seems rather superfluous. I still don’t care about Baron Samedi, even after the Haitian killed him in one of the most immensely cool ways possible. Sylar and Elle’s transformation from the hunters to the hunted becomes tiresome after a while as, once again, it falls back on the somewhat beleaguered, well-worn ‘conflict’ between hero and villain. Shades of grey, yeah, we get it guys. Seriously. No need to beat us around the head with it anymore. The decision to have Gabriel murder his lover is also somewhat questionable: while one suspects the writers were attempting to illustrate how he straddles the line between black and white, they actually reveal to us all just how desperate they are to ‘complicate’ their characters. It’s a forced narrative swerve and doesn’t scan at all, feeling artificial rather than immersing you in the show’s ‘reality’. The same can be said of Nathan’s completely unprecedented decision to side with Arthur: all because he saw how powers could help people in Haiti? Um, hasn’t the guy been aware of that since season one? This is conflict created for conflict’s sake and, therefore, the viewer simply cannot buy into it. One to watch on auto pilot, with the bare minimum of thought. 6.7
312: ‘Our Father’
Writers: Adam Armus & Kay Foster
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Synopsis: Hiro and Claire unite in their bid to stop Arthur by travelling back in time. Peter and the Haitian must face Sylar in order to get to Arthur. Ando, Daphne and Matt search for the last 9th Wonders! story.
Review: Ya-tah! Something good at last. ‘Our Father’ is a dramatic improvement on the laborious trudge-fest of ‘The Eclipse’ two parter and, while there is still a little too much running around for my liking, the overall impression is one of a well structured, nicely woven tale. The obvious highlight is Hiro and Claire’s excursion into the past which is beautifully executed in all aspects: check out the sumptuous cinematography, the highly evocative direction and, perhaps most importantly, the strength of the acting which, by all accounts, is a complete hole in one. Tamlyn Tomita does an admirable job and George Takei is predictably awesome, but what about Masi Oka, eh? Going from token comedy fodder to haphazard cutie to thoroughly moving emotional wreck in the space of thirty short minutes is no small feat; the guy surely deserves some sort of award. I don’t know about you but I was about to ready to bawl halfway through his moment with his mom… in fact, I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it. This is a wonderful piece of character polishing that just hammers home exactly how fantastic Heroes can be when it sets its mind to it. There’s Sylar’s completely unexpected slaying of Arthur to herald too, as well as the guilty pleasure that is the pursuit of the last 9th Wonders and, of course, Nathan’s mission to turn a bunch of soldiers into super-humans which, bizarrely, wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. A solid run into the fall, and volume, finale. 9.0
313: ‘Dual’
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Director: Greg Beeman
Synopsis: Nathan and Peter face off, and Nathan makes a move with far reaching consequences. Sylar takes desperate measures at Primatech and the fates of several heroes hang in the balance. Ando, Matt, and Daphne continue their quest to save Hiro.
Review: Hmm… don’t know about you guys but ‘Dual’ left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. Loeb’s script suffers from the weight of fall finale expectation: the script attempts to tidy up too many narrative strands that have built over the course of the last thirteen episodes. Resultantly, certain aspects of the plot aren’t given enough space to breathe and fall rather flat in their resolution: case in point, the retrieval of the formula which is as simple as 1-2-punch, lights out Tracey Strauss. Given the importance lent to this particular strand in the preceding episodes, it seems to deserve more than simply a thirty second quick-fire outcome. Ando and Daphne’s rescue of Hiro also makes no scientific sense whatsoever, despite the script’s attempts to make it do so (Einstein’s theory relates to travelling forward in time, not backward). And then, of course, there’s Nathan’s volte-face, his complete and utter rejection of his beloved brother who, despite inexplicably turning a gun on him at the start of the episode, still demonstrates his love by injecting himself with that ruddy formula and saving his life. Again. Look, I’m all for the conflict; really, I am. It just needs many, many more episodes of build up, much more time to get to the stage of all out resentment that it currently sits at. It smacks far too much of a set-up: the movement of narrative pieces so that they are correctly positioned for the next wave of story. And, at episode’s end, we find that it is exactly that: oh look, Nathan’s only advocating a hero Holocaust… to the President, no less! What a cad! Okay, okay, I’ll back down… I confess, Fugitives certainly does seem interesting and definitely shows promise. But meh… I just don’t really like how we got there. Best part of ‘Dual’? Sylar’s delicious manipulation of the most dysfunctional family never to have set foot on The Jeremy Kyle Show. This is brilliantly suspenseful stuff, chillingly claustrophobic and full of cold, hardened malice, and harkens back to the wonderfully executed sequences between Sylar and Claire in the opening episode of the volume. I loved every eerie second (well, except for that bit about Sylar’s parents being some other freaks… honestly, can’t we have a bit of straightforward honesty in this show?) and it almost makes up for the somewhat lacklustre nature of the rest of the episode. Almost. 7.3
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Review catch up: Prison Break
409: ‘Greatness Achieved’
Writer: Nick Santora
Director: Jesse Bochco
Synopsis: Michael, Lincoln, Sucre and Bellick tunnel into the Company's headquarters. Gretchen meets with the General. Michael's condition continues to deteriorate. The police question T-Bag regarding Andy's disappearance. Wyatt propositions Sara while Mahone awaits his shot at his son's killer.
Review: Scriptwriting 101: If you want to kill a recurring character, ensure that sufficient empathy is engendered in the viewing audience before the act occurs, so that maximum emotional resonance is achieved. Ideally, this process takes place over the course of weeks, seasons even, rather than simply forty short minutes… but unfortunately, American television writers return time and time again to the formula of ‘oh shit, we want to get rid of this guy but no one really cares all that much about him… quick, throw in a few lines about his twisted family life and how difficult things have been for him, show how repentant he is… yeah, that’ll do it.’ The moment Brad Bellick started waxing poetic about his regrets in the first few scenes of ‘Greatness Achieved’, it was painfully aware that he was about to get knee deep in some serious shtick. Which he did. And died for his troubles. Poor soul. Aside from this unfortunate predictability, this episode is a masterpiece of dramatic intensity: the ‘tunnelling’ sequence harks back to the hallowed first season, T-Bag’s situation becomes increasingly desperate and in what is unquestionably the absolute highlight, Mahone gets to lay waste to Wyatt in true, horrifying style. The writing is superb, maintaining our interest in the characters, as well as focusing our attention on the ever-spiralling plot, and, as usual, the acting is top notch. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, William Fichtner can do no wrong. ‘Greatness Achieved’? I’d say so, yeah. 9.4
410: ‘The Legend’
Writer: Karyn Usher
Director: Dwight Little
Synopsis: Sara is left with no choice but to take Michael to the hospital as his condition rapidly worsens. Sucre and Lincoln are faced with unknown territory as they are left in charge of the operation. Agent Self makes a surprising ally.
Review: After a moment’s mourn at the passing of Brad Bellick (you know, the one who regularly beat the main cast up in the first and second seasons) – oh Wade Williams, we will miss ye – it’s back down to business as Sucre and Lincoln are forced to face the perils of the Company’s headquarters without Michael, who needs some very important surgery. ‘The Legend’ is a bit of a step down from the rollercoaster ride of suspenseful hair-pulling that was last week’s episode but it certainly has more than its fair share of merits: the ‘mine’ sequences are nail-bitingly intense and once again contain echoes of the kind of quality we were treated to in Prison Break’s first year. Robert Knepper also puts in a stellar performance as a truly torn T-Bag, whose new life as Cole Pfeiffer shows him a side of himself he never knew existed. It’s a fantastic character dichotomy and one that succeeds, again, in engendering sympathy for a conventionally reprehensible individual. Good stuff. 8.5
411: ‘Quiet Riot’
Writer: Seff Hoffman
Director: Kevin Hooks
Synopsis: Michael risks his life by breaking into the Company headquarters along with the others. Gretchen tries to get the last card with a meeting with the general. Trishanne's days may be numbered.
Review: Before I blow so much smoke up this episode’s ass it’s untrue, let’s just get one gripe out of the way: would anyone in their right mind really let Michael jeopardise the entire mission by coming along on the crawl into the Company in his current condition? Come on! He could blackout at any second! Sarah would drug the guy, cart him off to hospital and have done with it. None of this ‘oh yes Michael, you can climb in and get Scylla, even if it does mean you’re probably gonna keel over and set all the alarms off AT ANY POINT.’ Hmph. Anyway, back to the plaudits. ‘Quiet Riot’ is a fantastically written and directed piece of work that succeeds in placing the viewer squarely on the edge of their seat for every single, excruciatingly silent moment. The decision to have no dialogue for a good ten minutes is an absolute masterstroke as it focuses our attention squarely on the dramatics of the scene and, more importantly than that, what could potentially go wrong. I don’t know about you but I was literally squirming when watching the cons exercising their plan, which just demonstrates that Hoffman and co. have achieved exactly what they set out to do. Oh, and Gretchen’s attempted proposition of the General? Priceless. 9.3
412: ‘Selfless’
Writer: Kalinda Vazquez
Director: Michael Switzer
Synopsis: Sara takes a hostage in a bid to secure Scylla. Michael and Lincoln finally meet the General while one of their members switches allegiance.
Review: And it was all going so well, too… Kalinda Vazquez’s ‘Selfless’ is, for the most part, a thoroughly enjoyable episode. The decision to parallel Michael’s apprehension of the General with Sara’s bathroom abduction of his daughter works sublimely on both a character level, demonstrating just how far from their original personas the two have come, and a dramatic one, as the two strands feed off one another and therefore intensify the already substantially heightened level of tension. There’s some absolutely cracking dialogue here too; when presented with the opportunity to have the two heavyweights locked in a room together, the writing staff truly do not disappoint. And how about the look on the General’s face when Michael pulls out all the Scylla cards, eh? Marvellous. It’s just a damn shame they had to go and ruin it all with that last, truly, truly awful minute and a half. Look, I realise that a reboot was needed if the season was to continue. But did Self really have to swerve? Yet another freaking corrupted government agent? In my review of the season opener, in which the character actually states that “not everyone in the government is corrupt, some of us actually want to get the bad guys” (or words to that effect), I said that if they turned him, that’d be the last straw, the end of my association with the show. And while that really was my inner drama queen bounding straight out of the closet, I reserve the right to be thoroughly miserable about it for the rest of the season. I mean God, I liked Don Self. His character was refreshing in his straightforward, no frills drive to actually, you know, do good. That little thing that cops are supposed to do. Having yet another law enforcement representative switch sides is just tiresome and reeks of what it is: a bunch of writers having written themselves into a corner, desperately hunting for something to get them out and hitting upon the first convenient thing, rather than, you know, actually thinking about it for a bit and coming up with something creative. Meh. Spoiled the whole episode for me, that did and I’m sure it’s going to ruin the rest of the season unless they do him off in the next couple of weeks. Excellent ‘til 39:47, hugely disappointing after that. Two full points off the score. 7.4
413: ‘Deal or No Deal’
Writer: Christian Trokey
Director: Bobby Roth
Synopsis: The General works to regain Scylla. T-Bag gets a new partner. Michael and Lincoln have an important meeting.
Review: Given that ‘Deal or No Deal’ comes from the pen of the man that brought you ‘Five the Hard Way’ (you know, the one with the penis-less old codger who wanted Sucre to bang his wife), it is perhaps unsurprising that it is a bit of a disappointment. The episode is like a poorly sewn patchwork quilt: its narrative strands seem to collide clumsily into one another, forever clashing and not really fitting together. Everything feels like an erratic, pointless run-around: Homeland’s chasing Michael, Michael’s chasing Self and the Company’s chasing just about everybody. And if they’re not doing the chasing, they’re running away, like Self (for a large part of the episode, anyway) or Sucre and Sarah, whose brief moment of ‘my God, we’re getting out of the country’ feels like a hastily written filler sequence, designed to plug the gap in a woefully under length script. The reveal that Michael still has a piece of Scylla is far too convenient for my liking too, reading more as a necessary scripting get out clause than a believable development arising from established parameters within the narrative. And what about that scene with the brothers and the Homeland representatives, eh? Switch, switch and switch again! They’re all ready to abandon their moral codes at the drop of a hat and align themselves with whomever, or whatever, is most beneficial to them… just like Don Self did last week and no, I haven’t forgotten about the horrific taste that left in my mouth either. Not a good start to the second ‘block’ of the season. 6.2
414: ‘Just Business’
Writer: Graham Roland
Director: Mark Helfrich
Synopsis: Gretchen and Self wind up with Scylla (and a buyer). Michael battles with the Company for Scylla. Mahone asks some familiar faces for help. T-Bag continues to hold a couple of innocent people hostage.
Review: While I’m still not warming to the all new, bad ass, double crossing, good for nothing, scumbag version of Don Self, ‘Just Business’ managed to keep my attention squarely away from my distaste of this particular plot development long enough to actually allow me to enjoy what I was watching. For the most part, anyway. There’s still a little too much convenient bait and switch going on for my liking (Self and Michael are enemies, now they’re allies, now they’re enemies again) and the Mahone plot was little more than an exercise in how to fill ten spare minutes, but the main thrust of the narrative, the recovery of Scylla from the angle of three different parties, is well executed and manages to inject sufficient tension into the proceedings to be enjoyable. There’s also some wonderful intrigue to enjoy as Lincoln gets handed a mysterious folder labelled ‘Tombstone II’ (what is that, some sort of instruction manual for an X-Box game?) and T-Bag plays a game of identity crisis with both a ‘Bible salesman’ and himself. Credit to Robert Knepper (again): he really makes these scenes come alive and demands your understanding and sympathy. Despite being a murdering paedophile. No mean feat, that. 7.8
415: ‘Going Under’
Writer: Zack Estrin
Director: Karen Gaviola
Synopsis: Michael receives medical attention. Charles Westmoreland helps uncover the real secrets of Scylla. Lincoln and Sucre do everything in their power to retrieve Scylla before it's gone forever.
Review: Well, this is nothing short of a fan boy’s wet dream… season one flashbacks? References to events that have occurred throughout Prison Break’s four tumultuous seasons? Setting a third of the episode in Michael and Sucre’s cell? CHARLES WESTMORELAND? Wowsers. I certainly didn’t see this one coming and, well, thank the television critic Gods for that. ‘Going Under’ is a thoroughly refreshing surprise, taking a minor break in the main narrative drive from all the back stabbing and running around that has become the crux of the show as of late, so that we can have a closer examination of the ins and outs of Michael’s psyche. As well as letting him solve the mystery of what Scylla actually is. Wentworth Miller gets to flex his acting muscles in this one and he does a damn fine job, admirably matching up to the much-missed skills of Muse Watson. Oh, it’s good to have Charles back. He’s fantastic, isn’t he? Though it was a brave decision to kill a character so beloved at the end of season one, retrospectively, I’m not sure it was the right one. It would’ve been great to see DB on the run, looking at how he coped with life outside of the four walls he’d been cooped up in for the better part of his life. Still, no point whining about that now. His presence turns a good episode into an excellent one, making what could have been a somewhat tiresome psychological trudge into a captivating exploration of what makes Michael tick. Cudos to Zack Estrin for taking a chance and deviating slightly from the tried and tested formula. Oh, and for getting rid of Sucre too… hopefully for good. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy and all but was anyone really buying that he’d continue to stick around? Nah, didn’t think so. But wait! There’s more! Michael and Lincoln’s mother worked for the Company! What’s the betting she’s alive? I’ll eat my hat if she’s not. 8.8
416: ‘The Sunshine State’
Writers: Paul Scheuring, Matt Olmstead & Nicholas Wootton
Director: Kevin Hooks
Synopsis: Lincoln and his team travel to Miami looking for Scylla. Michael learns some shocking secrets about his past while Sara searches for him.
Review: Yup, she’s alive. Well, nobody saw that coming ten thousand miles off, did they? The resurrection of Michael and Lincoln’s mother, and the positioning of her as the ‘enemy’ from which the brothers must wrest Scylla, smacks just a little too much of desperation for my liking. Much like the decision to turn Self earlier in the season, it seems that the production staff were scrambling for the most dramatic twist imaginable in order to inject the remainder of their season with characterial angst and marry emotional investment in the core cast with the minutiae of the action. Unfortunately, they hit upon just about the most fan-frustratingly ludicrous plot development imaginable; now the entire Prison Break audience is screaming, “WTF?!” at their screens and throwing their bird books down on the coffee table in protest. Wasn’t this woman supposed to be a gentle soul, the kind who wouldn’t take kindly to a man like Mahone? (Season two reference there, fellas). And okay, so perhaps the boys didn’t know the real Mrs. Burrows… but does her role within the Company mean she knew about her husband’s betrayal of the agency? The plot to flush him out that ensued… i.e. the framing of her son, the placing of him ON DEATH ROW? Are we really expected to believe that she chose to brush these pesky little things aside? Or are the writers going to explain it away with one of the following empty explanations? 1. She really doesn’t care about her family and has always been a Company agent, through and through. 2. She ‘knew’ Michael would come through for Lincoln and save the day because he was always the intelligent one and her favourite and blah blah blah blah blah. I vote for the latter, actually. It’s all just far, far too convenient; it reads as a need to dramatise the plot, rather than the drama arising naturally out of it. And that’s never a good thing. Oh, there’s the rest of the episode to consider and we’re running out of space. Um, Gretchen nearly dying = good, Mahone turning up to help = well, a bit silly but okay, Self/T-Bag/Linc/ho-bag working together = more annoying bait and switch, got on my nerves, Sarah rescuing Michael = thoroughly unbelievable but a guilty pleasure and Michael having his ‘personality carved up’ = best thing about the episode, fantastically written and played by all involved. It’s just a shame you walk away from ‘The Sunshine State’ with such a gosh darned bitter taste in your mouth. 7.1
Review catch up: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
207: ‘Brothers of Nablus’
Director: Milan Cheylov
Synopsis: The Connors get robbed, which puts them on high alert. Meanwhile, one Terminator gets very close to John, while another Terminator terrorizes Agent Ellison.
Review: Um. Is that it? Really? After a ludicrously pant-wetting teaser in which Ellison is confronted by a Triple 8 version of himself, who is then slaughtered by Cromartie, ‘Brothers of Nablus’ proceeds to do absolutely diddly squat in its remaining forty one minutes. The primary drive of the narrative is about the Connors being burgled, for Christ’s sake. They spend the entire episode running around after a bunch of snot-nosed thieves and no one actually gives a damn. There’s this whole other little story thing going on too, in which Cromartie hunts for John and almost, you know, kills him, but it’s so bogged down in psuedo-psychological character examination and nefarious navel gazing that it loses all of its potential drama and significance. Painfully underwhelming. 4.1
208: ‘Mr. Ferguson is Ill Today’
Writer: Daniel T. Thomsen
Director: Michael Nankin
Synopsis: John and Riley face some fatal aftermath on their trip to Mexico. Sarah and Ellison finally meet up.
Review: Taking a leaf out of Pulp Fiction’s book, ‘Mr. Ferguson is Ill Today’ plays some satisfying mind games with the viewer by structuring its narrative around the perspectives of the individual characters involved, rather than simply presenting events in a conventionally linear fashion. This perhaps gives the episode a memorably distinctive sheen that it otherwise wouldn’t have had – the plot is ultimately wafer thin – but given the depressingly lethargic slump into which The Sarah Connor Chronicles appears to have driven itself recently, it’s refreshing to see the production staff actually, you know, giving a damn. There are thrills, spills and automobiles to be found here, as the action quotient is cranked up about seventy thousand notches with Cromartie’s ceaseless pursuit of John and, for once, the whole thing actually feels somewhat suspenseful. Hell, it actually had me on the edge of my seat at the end there. Good stuff, nay, better stuff. This is what the show can, and should, be. 8.7
209: ‘Complications’
Writers: Ian Goldberg & John Wirth
Director: Steven DePaul
Synopsis: Sarah experiences de ja vu when she has disturbing nightmares, meaning trouble for Sarah and John. Derek and Jesse look into a Skynet collaborator.
Review: Now this is how to do a character piece. Goldberg and Wirth’s ‘Complications’ takes a fairly simple premise and hits a home run right out of the park, largely thanks to a combination of solid, gritty dialogue, masterful dramatic pacing and, well, the ceaseless talents of Adam Busch. Oh, how I loved him in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and… oh, sorry, where was I again? Ah yes, Derek and Jesse’s story actually manages to be considerably interesting for once. In fact (pigs must be flying), it’s the highlight of the whole episode, keeping the viewer guessing throughout, uncertain as to where to position our sympathies and allegiances. The twist is also far less telegraphed than normal and comes as a genuine surprise, albeit one that’s less likely to have you falling off your chair and more likely to have you let out a brief “oh!” It’s a shame that Sarah’s story can’t be anywhere near as interesting; another trip to the psychiatrist and a few dodgy (but supposedly ‘revealing’) dream sequences take us on a round trip to nowhere, proving that, once again, the show’s producers would rather chase their own tails haphazardly and contemplate the meaning of human existence than actually, you know, move the plot forward a bit. Still, at least it’s the B storyline. 8.3
210: ‘Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point’
Writers: Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz
Director: Scott Peters
Synopsis: Sarah catches up with the Turk. Jesse faces some problems in her plans. Ellison has a surprise meeting with someone powerful through Weaver.
Review: It looked, for a moment there, like Terminator might actually have jump-started Sarah’s story again after a lacklustre couple of weeks of being kidnapped and having funny dreams about dots. She managed to spend a good thirty minutes of this episode getting down to duplicitous, detective-like business and, yay of yays, beating people to a bloody pulp but, ultimately, for what? It was all a bleeding con and she’s right back where she started… looking at ink splodges and wondering what to do with herself. It’s especially frustrating for the viewer, who has to endure week after week of this diabolically slow-moving crap, just desperately waiting for something, anything, to be thrown their way in the form of plot development. To be fair, that’s exactly what we get with the B and C stories, admittedly: the staunch curveball of Riley as an impostor is especially pleasing, and the transformation of Weaver’s AI into Cromartie shows distinct promise for the future. But how far down the line will it be before either of these actually progress anywhere? Become, you know, significant? Two weeks before the bloody season finale, I’d wager. Another frustrating exercise in water treading, then… but at least it’s got the best episode title ever conceived. 7.6
211: ‘Self-Made Man’
Writer: Toni Graphia
Director: Holly Dale
Synopsis: A Terminator sent to the wrong time causes catastrophic results changing history (hah! That’s generous!)
Review: What? Hold on a second. Eh? Rewind that back to the start for me would ya… I’m not sure I quite believe what I’ve just sat through. Thirty minutes of Cameron talking to a bone cancer victim about suspected terminators, suicide and donuts? Fifteen minutes of John and Riley being teenagers and, like, making out and stuff? Really? Is that ALL ‘Self-Made Man’ gave us? Are you sure? I just don’t want to believe it. After all the interesting developments in the over-arching plot that occurred in last week’s episode, you’d at least expect some form of pay off somewhere. Guess again. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Toni Graphia’s episode actually manages to have absolutely no relevance to anything that’s happened in the past few weeks AT ALL, and also does nothing to advance any other existing plot in any way, shape or form (oh come on… we all knew John and Riley were doing the naughty). That’s no mean feat, guys. Complete and utter irrelevance is difficult to achieve. Oh sure, this is all nicely executed; the cinematography and attention to detail in the construction of the mock-newsreel footage, radio broadcasts and all the other mediums that Cameron and her disabled friend use to piece together Stark’s life is impeccable and looks fantastic… but did it not just bore the shitting pants off you? The viewer solves the ‘mystery’ that the pair work through in about ten seconds flat at the start of the episode, so we spend the remainder twiddling our thumbs, waiting for, like, the relevance to kick in. Which it never does. Ever. And no, I don’t care about Cameron’s emotional development. She’s a freaking robot. And I care even less about John and Riley. As the oh-so-wise Bis once said, ‘give me action and drama and less of this inane, pointless drivel’. Okay, so they only said the first bit but I bet that’s what they would say if they were sat down with this episode. Honest. 5.0
212: ‘Alpine Fields’
Writer: John Enbom
Directors: Charles Beeson & Bryan Spicer
Synopsis: Sarah and Cameron attempt to save a family whose fate links in with Derek in the future. Jesse fights for her life.
Review: The show still pointedly refuses to address those big revelations that it smacked us upside the head with in ‘Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point’ (Riley’s from the future! The AI’s inside Cromartie! Sarah… likes the three dots a bit too much!) and Thomas Dekker isn’t even in this episode, which sets the ‘hot young totty’ quotient at absolute zero, but despite these major, major drawbacks, ‘Alpine Fields’ actually manages to be quite good. Enbom’s script is a lovingly crafted piece that carefully flits between past, present and future without ever seeming pretentious or becoming confusing. The triple threat thrust of the narrative – which Field is the 888 after? vs. will the mother survive and give birth? vs. how will future Derek and Jesse survive? – gives the episode considerable weight and, you know, actually makes things interesting for a change. Definitely one of this season’s stronger moments. 8.5
213: ‘Earthlings Welcome Here’
Writer: Natalie Chaidez
Director: Felix Enriquez Alcala
Synopsis: Sarah's continued obsession with the three dots leads her to a blogger with intimate knowledge of the symbol. Meanwhile, Riley and Cameron face off.
Review: Okay guys, big mid-season finale here. Terminator’s gonna be off the air until the middle of February right, so we need to keep viewers literally wetting themselves with anticipation for its return… we’re gonna need a huge episode with a massive cliffhanger… what can we possibly have happen? Natalie Chaidez pipes up, “Oh I know, Sarah whines about the three dots, goes to a UFO convention, meets a male-to-female post-op transsexual, talks, talks, nearly gets shot, talks a bit more, makes a cup of camomile tea, then ends up at a shadowy ‘military facility’ where she ends the episode staring up at three dots in the sky. Oh, and Riley tries to off herself.” Well, how utterly fantastic does that sound, guys? I mean really… what an episode! I think I might be about to overload on sarcasm! Jesus, what were the production staff thinking? Aside from the occasional gleefully bitchy exchange between Cameron and Riley, and a bit of quality acting from the guy that plays Ellison as he tries to teach the AI about God (euck! More religious mumbo jumbo!), this was something of a car wreck that went nowhere, said nothing and succeeded in being unnecessarily bizarre at the same time. We were all expecting some sort of action-packed narrative-progressing bonanza before the break and instead we got a load of boring gumf about UFOs. Well, UFOs being military craft used making technology from the future. But the pace is so snail-like and the story so bogged down in self-examination and, excuse me while I vomit, attempted ‘poignancy’ that any excitement that may have been generated from this is completely and utterly lost. Another example of The Sarah Connor Chronicles trying far too hard to be something that it’s not and failing miserably; if the show carries on like this for the remainder of its second season, yo-yoing between fairly good and dismally bad every other week and flatly refusing to move any narrative strands forward at all, it won’t make it past the Spring. 4.7
Monday, 29 December 2008
Review catch up: Desperate Housewives
Given that I never like to leave a job unfinished, I have decided to bring myself, and my loyal readers (hah!) bang up to date with those television shows that I started reviewing and then devilishly abandoned a couple of months back. I know, I'm a scamp. I promise to maintain them in 2009. Honest, I do. In fact, I might even give them their own website; crazy, huh? But enough small talk... we begin with Desperate Housewives which, well, went a little bit doo-lally...
506: 'There's Always a Woman'
Writer: John Paul Bullock, III
Director: Matthew Diamond
Synopsis: Gabby is over the moon when Carlos' client makes them an offer they can't refuse, but a startling discovery leaves her second guessing. Lynette grows suspicious that Tom is cheating on her. After breaking up with Jackson, Susan tries to surprise him, only to find the surprise is on her. Meanwhile, the bond between Bree and Katherine grows. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey enlists the help of her sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) to dig up dirt on Dave.
Review: A strong episode that jump-starts a host of fresh narratives. Lynette's is of particular note, if only for the 'phew! What a relief!' moment when we find that no, Tom's mid-life crisis does not extend to banging the town harlot... over the past few seasons, the Scavos have seen just about enough adultery-teasing thank you very much. The decision to throw a statutory rape storyline into the mix is a brave one and shines the spotlight very firmly on the talents of the (new) actor playing Porter; hopefully, he'll impress. Elsewhere, Frances Conroy is superb as creepy fruitbasket Virginia Hildebrand, and her obsession with the Solis family makes for some satisfying comedic moments, and Lily Tomlin instantly makes the role of Roberta her own with one Southern accent, a bottle of liquor and a fag jammed into her mouth. 8.6
507: 'What More Do I Need?'
Writer: Matt Berry
Director: Larry Shaw
Synopsis: Lynette and Tom uncover the unsettling truth about son Porter. Gabrielle suspects Carlos' best client, Virginia (guest star Frances Conroy), has ulterior motives. Bree's moment of weakness could bring her great embarrassment and shame. Katherine's not-so-little secret is unveiled. Susan learns of Jackson's true passion. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey's sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) unearths a disturbing fact about Dave.
Review: Treading water slightly, 'What More Do I Need?' nudges the housewives' narratives forward a few baby steps, rather than putting the pedal to the metal and sending them joyriding around Wisteria Lane. Still, there's much to enjoy here, particularly Felicity Huffman's work as a rather demented Lynette Scavo, whose determination to put an end to what she sees as a violation of her son is so believable, it's almost too difficult to watch. Bree's 'moment of weakness' is rather fun too, giving Marcia Cross a chance to let her, often underestimated, comedic talents shine through. And how about Andrew, eh? Still looking pretty hot in those suits... 8.2
508: 'City on Fire'
Writer: Bob Daily
Director: David Grossman
Synopsis: Susan's daughter Julie (former main castmember Andrea Bowen) comes to visit with her surprising new boyfriend (played by Steven Weber). Gabrielle learns that Mrs. Hildebrand (guest star Frances Conroy) has made her and Carlos heirs of her entire fortune. A reporter looks to expose Bree's imperfections. Lynette learns Porter and Anne Schilling (guest star Gail O'Grady) plan to leave Fairview and disappear. Finally, everyone has gathered at a club to see the guys play in the annual "Battle of the Bands" when a fire erupts, threatening the lives of those in attendance. Some will fall as a hero will rise.
Review: And so to Desperate Housewives' annual 'big sweeps episode', the one that 'threatens to change the lives of the central characters forever' (just as it did in all the past seasons, but, um, well, actually didn't all that much) and promises to be a season highlight, full of action, drama, revelations and, hopefully, mindless gay sex featuring Shawn Pyfrom and Jesse Metcalffe... *ahem* In the past two seasons, the hype machine went into overdrive for 'Bang!' and 'Something's Coming', respectively and, well, justifiably so. Those remain two of the best forty five minutes of television that the creators of this show have ever put to film. 'City on Fire' tries to be the equivalent - really, it does - but, let's be honest, it just can't quite match them. A middleweight in heavyweight territory, would be an appropriate metaphor. There's some clever manipulation of plot structure, interesting character developments and a brief "oh my God, they're actually going to kill Mike" moment to enjoy but, sadly, the gravitas of the fire just doesn't compare to that of, say, a tornado; and the drama of the situation is nowhere near as intense as the claustrophobic psych-fest of the supermarket robbery in 'Bang!' Of course, it is perhaps a bit unfair to judge 'City of Fire' in this fashion; it is a well written episode with a host of excellent scenes and, at the very least, a cameo from Tokyo Police Club to enjoy. It could just have done with a little bit more... oomph. And if Mike is Dave's target, I swear to God... 8.7
509: 'Me and My Town'
Writer: Lori Kirkland Baker
Director: David Warren
Synopsis: For Gaby and Carlos, injuries sustained in the fire lead to a fortunate discovery. But for most, the consequences are less forgiving. Lynette and Tom vow to protect son Porter at any cost. Susan must learn to let go of the man she loves. Orson's attempt at a good night's sleep puts Bree in a most precarious, though amusing, position on the day of her big cooking demonstration.
Review: Oh God. They're going to do it, aren't they? They're actually going to do it. I knew that whole 'five years in the future' thing was going to prove to be a little too convenient sooner rather than later. Please, please, please, Marc Cherry... don't have it happen. Don't ruin the chance to spend at least the next season or so exploring what was an incredibly brave decision on the part of your writing staff. Don't have Carlos regain his sight. It'll be a complete 'jump the shark' moment, truly. At least we don't know for certain yet... he's just going for the operation. And thus far, it has thrown up some wonderful acting from Eva Longoria and Ricardo Chavira. But I'm still not happy. Oh, yes, I almost forgot, the episode. Pretty good stuff, nicely, and creatively, structured (again) around the hospital. Felicity Huffman proves she's the best damn thing to have ever happened to this show for the millionth time. Dave goes a bit loopy, which is nice. And Andrew gets a boyfriend! Wah-hey! And he's a hottie! Double wah-hey! Now if only we can spend next week watching them doing the ugly, I'll be happy. Wah-hey! 8.5
510: 'A Vision's Just a Vision'
Writer: David Flebotte
Director: Larry Shaw
Synopsis: Lynette takes extreme measures to protect her son. Carlos realizes the extent of Gaby's sacrifices for their family. Bree wants to prove to Andrew that she has accepted him for who he is. Katherine finds happiness, as Susan and Mike recognize the fate of their relationship. Meanwhile, Dave starts to lose his grip.
Review: I knew it. I bloody knew it. Desperate Housewives: shark. Shark: Desperate Housewives. Jump! Despite some wonderful dialogue and superb acting from our regulars, Carlos and Gabby's storyline is a freaking shambles. I'm sorry, but it had to be said. He's been blind for eighteen episodes. EIGHTEEN FREAKING EPISODES. That's less than a conventional season of American television. Really, what was the point? Sure, it's made for some fresh storylines, breathing a new lease of life into the Solis' narratives, but surely that could continue? There's so much more mileage left in it. It's a completely wasted opportunity... much like Dave's story, which seemingly unleashed its big reveal at the end of this episode, and it was... he's after Mike. Well there's a surprise. Big whoopie-do. Did anyone really not see that coming? It was about as telegraphed as the sun rising. And did it have to be the idiot plumber again? The one with the established sordid past again? Surely it would've made things a tad more interesting had it been, say, Tom or Carlos? *sigh* Maybe I'm jumping the gun; maybe, given Dave's apparent descent into whacked-out hallucination-land in 'A Vision's Just a Vision', he was blabbering and not actually revealing his true intentions. Or maybe I'm just indulging in a spot of wishful thinking. I suppose we'll have to wait until the New Year to see. But I'm not happy right now, people. Not happy at all. Well, except for the part of me that is absolutely in love with Andrew's story, that is. Nicely written, at times pleasantly comedic and surprisingly moving, and well played by all.. and not a whiff of a stereotype to be seen. Well, not on Andrew and his beau anyway. We'll just forget about Bob and Lee, shall we? At least I'm getting what I want on the Shawn Pyfrom front, I suppose (well, except for his naked body on a platter), but still... grrrrr. Bloody predictable writers. I shake my fist at you. *shake* 7.7
506: 'There's Always a Woman'
Writer: John Paul Bullock, III
Director: Matthew Diamond
Synopsis: Gabby is over the moon when Carlos' client makes them an offer they can't refuse, but a startling discovery leaves her second guessing. Lynette grows suspicious that Tom is cheating on her. After breaking up with Jackson, Susan tries to surprise him, only to find the surprise is on her. Meanwhile, the bond between Bree and Katherine grows. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey enlists the help of her sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) to dig up dirt on Dave.
Review: A strong episode that jump-starts a host of fresh narratives. Lynette's is of particular note, if only for the 'phew! What a relief!' moment when we find that no, Tom's mid-life crisis does not extend to banging the town harlot... over the past few seasons, the Scavos have seen just about enough adultery-teasing thank you very much. The decision to throw a statutory rape storyline into the mix is a brave one and shines the spotlight very firmly on the talents of the (new) actor playing Porter; hopefully, he'll impress. Elsewhere, Frances Conroy is superb as creepy fruitbasket Virginia Hildebrand, and her obsession with the Solis family makes for some satisfying comedic moments, and Lily Tomlin instantly makes the role of Roberta her own with one Southern accent, a bottle of liquor and a fag jammed into her mouth. 8.6
507: 'What More Do I Need?'
Writer: Matt Berry
Director: Larry Shaw
Synopsis: Lynette and Tom uncover the unsettling truth about son Porter. Gabrielle suspects Carlos' best client, Virginia (guest star Frances Conroy), has ulterior motives. Bree's moment of weakness could bring her great embarrassment and shame. Katherine's not-so-little secret is unveiled. Susan learns of Jackson's true passion. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey's sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) unearths a disturbing fact about Dave.
Review: Treading water slightly, 'What More Do I Need?' nudges the housewives' narratives forward a few baby steps, rather than putting the pedal to the metal and sending them joyriding around Wisteria Lane. Still, there's much to enjoy here, particularly Felicity Huffman's work as a rather demented Lynette Scavo, whose determination to put an end to what she sees as a violation of her son is so believable, it's almost too difficult to watch. Bree's 'moment of weakness' is rather fun too, giving Marcia Cross a chance to let her, often underestimated, comedic talents shine through. And how about Andrew, eh? Still looking pretty hot in those suits... 8.2
508: 'City on Fire'
Writer: Bob Daily
Director: David Grossman
Synopsis: Susan's daughter Julie (former main castmember Andrea Bowen) comes to visit with her surprising new boyfriend (played by Steven Weber). Gabrielle learns that Mrs. Hildebrand (guest star Frances Conroy) has made her and Carlos heirs of her entire fortune. A reporter looks to expose Bree's imperfections. Lynette learns Porter and Anne Schilling (guest star Gail O'Grady) plan to leave Fairview and disappear. Finally, everyone has gathered at a club to see the guys play in the annual "Battle of the Bands" when a fire erupts, threatening the lives of those in attendance. Some will fall as a hero will rise.
Review: And so to Desperate Housewives' annual 'big sweeps episode', the one that 'threatens to change the lives of the central characters forever' (just as it did in all the past seasons, but, um, well, actually didn't all that much) and promises to be a season highlight, full of action, drama, revelations and, hopefully, mindless gay sex featuring Shawn Pyfrom and Jesse Metcalffe... *ahem* In the past two seasons, the hype machine went into overdrive for 'Bang!' and 'Something's Coming', respectively and, well, justifiably so. Those remain two of the best forty five minutes of television that the creators of this show have ever put to film. 'City on Fire' tries to be the equivalent - really, it does - but, let's be honest, it just can't quite match them. A middleweight in heavyweight territory, would be an appropriate metaphor. There's some clever manipulation of plot structure, interesting character developments and a brief "oh my God, they're actually going to kill Mike" moment to enjoy but, sadly, the gravitas of the fire just doesn't compare to that of, say, a tornado; and the drama of the situation is nowhere near as intense as the claustrophobic psych-fest of the supermarket robbery in 'Bang!' Of course, it is perhaps a bit unfair to judge 'City of Fire' in this fashion; it is a well written episode with a host of excellent scenes and, at the very least, a cameo from Tokyo Police Club to enjoy. It could just have done with a little bit more... oomph. And if Mike is Dave's target, I swear to God... 8.7
509: 'Me and My Town'
Writer: Lori Kirkland Baker
Director: David Warren
Synopsis: For Gaby and Carlos, injuries sustained in the fire lead to a fortunate discovery. But for most, the consequences are less forgiving. Lynette and Tom vow to protect son Porter at any cost. Susan must learn to let go of the man she loves. Orson's attempt at a good night's sleep puts Bree in a most precarious, though amusing, position on the day of her big cooking demonstration.
Review: Oh God. They're going to do it, aren't they? They're actually going to do it. I knew that whole 'five years in the future' thing was going to prove to be a little too convenient sooner rather than later. Please, please, please, Marc Cherry... don't have it happen. Don't ruin the chance to spend at least the next season or so exploring what was an incredibly brave decision on the part of your writing staff. Don't have Carlos regain his sight. It'll be a complete 'jump the shark' moment, truly. At least we don't know for certain yet... he's just going for the operation. And thus far, it has thrown up some wonderful acting from Eva Longoria and Ricardo Chavira. But I'm still not happy. Oh, yes, I almost forgot, the episode. Pretty good stuff, nicely, and creatively, structured (again) around the hospital. Felicity Huffman proves she's the best damn thing to have ever happened to this show for the millionth time. Dave goes a bit loopy, which is nice. And Andrew gets a boyfriend! Wah-hey! And he's a hottie! Double wah-hey! Now if only we can spend next week watching them doing the ugly, I'll be happy. Wah-hey! 8.5
510: 'A Vision's Just a Vision'
Writer: David Flebotte
Director: Larry Shaw
Synopsis: Lynette takes extreme measures to protect her son. Carlos realizes the extent of Gaby's sacrifices for their family. Bree wants to prove to Andrew that she has accepted him for who he is. Katherine finds happiness, as Susan and Mike recognize the fate of their relationship. Meanwhile, Dave starts to lose his grip.
Review: I knew it. I bloody knew it. Desperate Housewives: shark. Shark: Desperate Housewives. Jump! Despite some wonderful dialogue and superb acting from our regulars, Carlos and Gabby's storyline is a freaking shambles. I'm sorry, but it had to be said. He's been blind for eighteen episodes. EIGHTEEN FREAKING EPISODES. That's less than a conventional season of American television. Really, what was the point? Sure, it's made for some fresh storylines, breathing a new lease of life into the Solis' narratives, but surely that could continue? There's so much more mileage left in it. It's a completely wasted opportunity... much like Dave's story, which seemingly unleashed its big reveal at the end of this episode, and it was... he's after Mike. Well there's a surprise. Big whoopie-do. Did anyone really not see that coming? It was about as telegraphed as the sun rising. And did it have to be the idiot plumber again? The one with the established sordid past again? Surely it would've made things a tad more interesting had it been, say, Tom or Carlos? *sigh* Maybe I'm jumping the gun; maybe, given Dave's apparent descent into whacked-out hallucination-land in 'A Vision's Just a Vision', he was blabbering and not actually revealing his true intentions. Or maybe I'm just indulging in a spot of wishful thinking. I suppose we'll have to wait until the New Year to see. But I'm not happy right now, people. Not happy at all. Well, except for the part of me that is absolutely in love with Andrew's story, that is. Nicely written, at times pleasantly comedic and surprisingly moving, and well played by all.. and not a whiff of a stereotype to be seen. Well, not on Andrew and his beau anyway. We'll just forget about Bob and Lee, shall we? At least I'm getting what I want on the Shawn Pyfrom front, I suppose (well, except for his naked body on a platter), but still... grrrrr. Bloody predictable writers. I shake my fist at you. *shake* 7.7
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Ten sexual indie boys (2008)
Screenaged Kicks has become something of a bile-filled whinefest recently thanks to the predictable onset of my "bah bloody humbug!" mentality, so today I thought we'd take a well-deserved break from ill-tempered cynicism and have a look at some pretty boys. Inspired by NME's publication of their 'twenty hottest men', I present to you ten guys making indie music in 2008 that set my sex on fire.
10. RUSSELL LISSACK, Bloc Party (guitar)
There's just something about that floppy fringe...
9. CHRIS PURCELL, Hadouken! (bass)
He's the one on the far right. Come to think of it, Nick, the one in the middle, ain't too bad either... shame their music's so fucking awful.
8. JACK LAWRENCE-BROWN, White Lies (drummer)
On the left, this time. Shockingly cute, this one (check out the Christmas NME for a better photo...)
7. HASSE MYDTSKOV, The Kissaway Trail (drums)
Blondie, in the middle. Though he wasn't blonde when I saw them support Editors. Still mighty fine though... and what a fantastic name, eh?
6. STEPHEN ANSELL, Blood Red Shoes (drums/vocals)
Well it's pretty obvious which one is Stephen, I reckon. And in the buff too, yummy. This highly energetic young man has absolutely perfect bone structure and massive eyes that just make you want to jump his bones... *ahem*
5. SAM POTTER, Late of the Pier (keyboards/synths/vocals)
In the foreground. Again, while I'm certainly not a fan of Late of the Pier's music, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the beauty of its keyboard player and occasional vocalist. I think it's got a lot to do with the puppy dog eyes and excessively messy hair. He's especially hot in the video for 'Bathroom Gurgle' actually, all shirtless and painted and singing 'find yourself a new boy' all seductively and that... think I might have to go watch that now as a matter of fact...
4. ALEKSANDAR DAMMS, Maths Class (bass)
Well hello Mr. Broody... how about I take you back to my place and cheer you up? No? Okay. Maths Class are a bit... weird... but the efforts of their ludicrously sexy bassist make them worth watching. For a few minutes, anyway.
3. CONOR OBERST (vocals/guitar/just about everything you can imagine)
Still as beautiful as ever, Conor Oberst proves that you don't need a hillybilly drawl, mullet and explosion of facial hair to write some of the most powerful country songs your ears are ever likely to hear. And just look at those cheekbones, that hair, those eyes... *splurge*
2. KIERAN WEBSTER, The View (bass/vocals)
He's a bit of a guilty pleasure, this one. Despite (a) being a bit irritated by his vocal contributions to The View's music, (b) finding him to be somewhat irritatingly immature in certain interviews and (c) and not being a particular fan of The View in the first place, I can't help but acknowledge the striking, unquestionable hotness of this man's face. And everything else about him, for that matter. Certainly the looker in the band, I imagine Kieran has more women hanging off his arm than Kyle Falconer's had illegal substances pumped into his body. But we'll just forget about that for now and start imagining what it would be like if he and Conor Oberst were trapped in a broken elevator together for seventy two hours, sweaty and stir crazy and relentlessly horny... *snaps out of it*
1. JACK BEVAN, Foals (drums)
Ah, Jack Bevan. What a pretty young man. What a handsome young man. What a cumtastically sexy young man. It should be criminal to be this attractive. This is what I want for Christmas next year... or my birthday, if anyone can do that. Jack Bevan, in a box. Gift wrapped. With a bow. And some chocolate syrup. Mustn't forget the chocolate syrup.
Well, at the end of all that boys and girls, what have we learned? Well, too much about my personal proclivities and private fantasies very probably, but also that my taste in men is exceptionally predictable and usually involves those that look cute. And about 18. Still, I can't help it. Beards and moustaches and things just look unsightly and, um, er...
I might do a 'ten sexy rock/punk guys' too, if I feel up for it. Or if I can find ten, that is. I struggled to get the indie dudes, to be honest. I tend not to be attracted to members of the bands that I like. But we'll see.
10. RUSSELL LISSACK, Bloc Party (guitar)
There's just something about that floppy fringe...
9. CHRIS PURCELL, Hadouken! (bass)
He's the one on the far right. Come to think of it, Nick, the one in the middle, ain't too bad either... shame their music's so fucking awful.
8. JACK LAWRENCE-BROWN, White Lies (drummer)
On the left, this time. Shockingly cute, this one (check out the Christmas NME for a better photo...)
7. HASSE MYDTSKOV, The Kissaway Trail (drums)
Blondie, in the middle. Though he wasn't blonde when I saw them support Editors. Still mighty fine though... and what a fantastic name, eh?
6. STEPHEN ANSELL, Blood Red Shoes (drums/vocals)
Well it's pretty obvious which one is Stephen, I reckon. And in the buff too, yummy. This highly energetic young man has absolutely perfect bone structure and massive eyes that just make you want to jump his bones... *ahem*
5. SAM POTTER, Late of the Pier (keyboards/synths/vocals)
In the foreground. Again, while I'm certainly not a fan of Late of the Pier's music, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the beauty of its keyboard player and occasional vocalist. I think it's got a lot to do with the puppy dog eyes and excessively messy hair. He's especially hot in the video for 'Bathroom Gurgle' actually, all shirtless and painted and singing 'find yourself a new boy' all seductively and that... think I might have to go watch that now as a matter of fact...
4. ALEKSANDAR DAMMS, Maths Class (bass)
Well hello Mr. Broody... how about I take you back to my place and cheer you up? No? Okay. Maths Class are a bit... weird... but the efforts of their ludicrously sexy bassist make them worth watching. For a few minutes, anyway.
3. CONOR OBERST (vocals/guitar/just about everything you can imagine)
Still as beautiful as ever, Conor Oberst proves that you don't need a hillybilly drawl, mullet and explosion of facial hair to write some of the most powerful country songs your ears are ever likely to hear. And just look at those cheekbones, that hair, those eyes... *splurge*
2. KIERAN WEBSTER, The View (bass/vocals)
He's a bit of a guilty pleasure, this one. Despite (a) being a bit irritated by his vocal contributions to The View's music, (b) finding him to be somewhat irritatingly immature in certain interviews and (c) and not being a particular fan of The View in the first place, I can't help but acknowledge the striking, unquestionable hotness of this man's face. And everything else about him, for that matter. Certainly the looker in the band, I imagine Kieran has more women hanging off his arm than Kyle Falconer's had illegal substances pumped into his body. But we'll just forget about that for now and start imagining what it would be like if he and Conor Oberst were trapped in a broken elevator together for seventy two hours, sweaty and stir crazy and relentlessly horny... *snaps out of it*
1. JACK BEVAN, Foals (drums)
Ah, Jack Bevan. What a pretty young man. What a handsome young man. What a cumtastically sexy young man. It should be criminal to be this attractive. This is what I want for Christmas next year... or my birthday, if anyone can do that. Jack Bevan, in a box. Gift wrapped. With a bow. And some chocolate syrup. Mustn't forget the chocolate syrup.
Well, at the end of all that boys and girls, what have we learned? Well, too much about my personal proclivities and private fantasies very probably, but also that my taste in men is exceptionally predictable and usually involves those that look cute. And about 18. Still, I can't help it. Beards and moustaches and things just look unsightly and, um, er...
I might do a 'ten sexy rock/punk guys' too, if I feel up for it. Or if I can find ten, that is. I struggled to get the indie dudes, to be honest. I tend not to be attracted to members of the bands that I like. But we'll see.
Saturday, 27 December 2008
On being old.
It suddenly dawned on me this afternoon, whilst cursing a particularly lethargic pensioner who was paying for the privilege of their bus journey with threepenny bits, that, in exactly one week's time, I will officially be over the hill. Far away. Past it. Old. Oh sure, twenty six might not be the end of the line; hopefully far from it, in fact, but nonetheless, very soon, I will be able to proudly claim that I am over a quarter of a century in age. And, more importantly, I will no longer be able to use my Young Person's Railcard. At 26, the British rail service no longer considers you to be 'young'. The next one available is the 'OAP Railcard'. Fuck.
This is nothing short of pant-wettingly frightening. How did I manage to survive this long without realising that time was going so gosh darn bleeding fast? Where did my university years go? What happened to my youth? How did I so quickly leave my teens behind and start on the road to, oh my God I daren't type it, thirty? It feels like only minutes ago since I was filling in UCAS applications and having a Dawson's Creek-influenced cod-psychoanalytic 'therapy' session on the Fire Exit staircase in my secondary school's Sixth Form block. Now I'm thinking about 'work in the morning', attending friends' weddings and, heavens above, moving out. Yes, in 2009, I am dead set on leaving the home I've known for the better part of the last twenty five years and making it on my own. With two others. Who aren't my parents. But still, big change. Big mature change. Big adult change. Big old change. Eeeep.
And as if these very 'grown up' features of my private life aren't enough to scare the living daylights out of me, there's the ever-increasing awareness of my development into a grumpy old codger to worry about too. Of late, I have begun to realise that I'm getting ever more impatient with the world. People? I can't bloody stand them. Well, most of them. Well, the ones that get in my way when I'm at the top of an escalator in a jam-packed shopping centre, insisting on standing stock still and staring blankly into space, as if rendered temporarily comatose by some extra-terrestrial laser beam of lethargy. Yeah, that's right, just block everyone's access love, that'll make you some friends. Or how about the families of about seven or eight that insist on walking side by side in a line, practically holding hands, thereby taking up the entire walking space, and then have the temerity to move at a pace that would embarrass a snail? Would it really kill you fuckers to collect together in a group, say, with two or three people side by side, in front of and behind the others, so that all of us other shoppers (yes, believe it or not, they do exist) could get by? I don't know about you, but I always seem to be in a mad dash to get to where I need to be when shopping; my time is precious and I don't need to contend with gormless buffoons loitering around with their tongues lolling out of their mouths in the middle of the flaming high street. Snap out of it and get out of my fucking way, you twit. That's what I really want to say. But I don't. Instead, I just huff a bit, perhaps let out a self-satisfying tut and weave my way around the offending party after a minute or so of excessive irritation.
These are not good signs. Moaning is starting to become second nature. People are starting to become the enemy, not the swathes upon swathes of potential friends that I used to view them as (um... maybe). This is all very Grumpy Old Men. And it's worrying; how long before I start bitching about the price of milk or, Christ in a bathtub, whining about how 'music just isn't what used to be'? All those things I swore I'd never do when I was young, free and innocent. They're all on the horizon, it seems. Of course, I could chalk all of the above up to inherent Christmas cynicism; I've never been a huge fan of 'the Holiday season' as, more than anything, I find it to be a rather irritating exercise in mass panic and thrift spending that I begrudge, but somehow ultimately do, get caught up in. Maybe my excessive moaning and groaning of late is just down to that. Yeah. That's got to be it. I'm not really that old yet... twenty six is still a darn sight younger than a great chunk of the population, that's for sure. And I still have my health, relatively speaking... well, apart from the crown I'm having to have to replace one of my damaged teeth, which is going to cost me £198. ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT FUCKING POUNDS, THAT'S MORE THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE EARN IN A WEEK AND £198 MORE THAN IT WOULD COST ME TO GET MY FUCKING ARM AMPUTATED YOU MONEY-GRABBING BASTAR......
Oh dear.
This is nothing short of pant-wettingly frightening. How did I manage to survive this long without realising that time was going so gosh darn bleeding fast? Where did my university years go? What happened to my youth? How did I so quickly leave my teens behind and start on the road to, oh my God I daren't type it, thirty? It feels like only minutes ago since I was filling in UCAS applications and having a Dawson's Creek-influenced cod-psychoanalytic 'therapy' session on the Fire Exit staircase in my secondary school's Sixth Form block. Now I'm thinking about 'work in the morning', attending friends' weddings and, heavens above, moving out. Yes, in 2009, I am dead set on leaving the home I've known for the better part of the last twenty five years and making it on my own. With two others. Who aren't my parents. But still, big change. Big mature change. Big adult change. Big old change. Eeeep.
And as if these very 'grown up' features of my private life aren't enough to scare the living daylights out of me, there's the ever-increasing awareness of my development into a grumpy old codger to worry about too. Of late, I have begun to realise that I'm getting ever more impatient with the world. People? I can't bloody stand them. Well, most of them. Well, the ones that get in my way when I'm at the top of an escalator in a jam-packed shopping centre, insisting on standing stock still and staring blankly into space, as if rendered temporarily comatose by some extra-terrestrial laser beam of lethargy. Yeah, that's right, just block everyone's access love, that'll make you some friends. Or how about the families of about seven or eight that insist on walking side by side in a line, practically holding hands, thereby taking up the entire walking space, and then have the temerity to move at a pace that would embarrass a snail? Would it really kill you fuckers to collect together in a group, say, with two or three people side by side, in front of and behind the others, so that all of us other shoppers (yes, believe it or not, they do exist) could get by? I don't know about you, but I always seem to be in a mad dash to get to where I need to be when shopping; my time is precious and I don't need to contend with gormless buffoons loitering around with their tongues lolling out of their mouths in the middle of the flaming high street. Snap out of it and get out of my fucking way, you twit. That's what I really want to say. But I don't. Instead, I just huff a bit, perhaps let out a self-satisfying tut and weave my way around the offending party after a minute or so of excessive irritation.
These are not good signs. Moaning is starting to become second nature. People are starting to become the enemy, not the swathes upon swathes of potential friends that I used to view them as (um... maybe). This is all very Grumpy Old Men. And it's worrying; how long before I start bitching about the price of milk or, Christ in a bathtub, whining about how 'music just isn't what used to be'? All those things I swore I'd never do when I was young, free and innocent. They're all on the horizon, it seems. Of course, I could chalk all of the above up to inherent Christmas cynicism; I've never been a huge fan of 'the Holiday season' as, more than anything, I find it to be a rather irritating exercise in mass panic and thrift spending that I begrudge, but somehow ultimately do, get caught up in. Maybe my excessive moaning and groaning of late is just down to that. Yeah. That's got to be it. I'm not really that old yet... twenty six is still a darn sight younger than a great chunk of the population, that's for sure. And I still have my health, relatively speaking... well, apart from the crown I'm having to have to replace one of my damaged teeth, which is going to cost me £198. ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT FUCKING POUNDS, THAT'S MORE THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE EARN IN A WEEK AND £198 MORE THAN IT WOULD COST ME TO GET MY FUCKING ARM AMPUTATED YOU MONEY-GRABBING BASTAR......
Oh dear.
Friday, 26 December 2008
THERE'S A SALE ON THIS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, you read that right bargain hunters, for two weeks only, that's a measly TWO weeks, fourteen ultra short days, EVERYTHING, and we do mean EVERYTHING* MUST GO. We've slashed the cost of viewing each individual journey entry by UP TO 90%! That's 10% less than a 100% reduction! We must be stark raving bonkers! We're practically giving away our content! You simply won't believe your eyes when you see the kind of bargains we've got on offer! In fact, you might keel over and die, so HEARTSTOPPINGLY SHOCKING are our prices! But don't mind that, start clogging up our bandwidth RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT. Really, what better do you have to do on Boxing Day? No one does anything on the day after Christmas - YOU COULD BE SPENDING. Looking at all those posts that you just couldn't afford to before the 25th. And you don't want to miss out, do you? What if it's all gone tomorrow? BEAT THE RUSH - get on board today!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, so that was slightly ridiculous. But excuse me while I let out one gigantic eeeeeeeeeugggggcccccccccckkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhhhh. Bloody January sales. Sorry, bloody freaking Boxing Day sales. Reports of idiots queueing up outside Selfridge's in London at seven o'bleeding clock, while others fight over handbags in the Trafford Centre. For the love of your family, people, what in the hell are you doing? Have you actually stopped to take a good look at yourselves? Only nine or ten hours since you were cuddled up next to your loved ones watching inane shite on the television, post the most gargantuan Christmas meal you've ever had the fortune to force down your gullet, you're out on the high street, scurrying around like lunatics, trying to spend EVEN MORE MONEY THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE in some sort of freak panic buy insanity. You already maxed out your credit card buying little Timmy that ultra-sophisticated games console he's always wanted in time for 'the big day', as well as everything else on the blighter's list; just because everything else you might want or need is now reduced well below its actual value, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BUY IT.
And if you really must, does it absolutely, positively have to be on Boxing Day? All right, all right, perhaps they'll sell out in the days to come because all the other freaks queued up at 7am on the 26th... but if we put an end to this store opening insanity, they wouldn't have a chance, would they? Whatever happened to Christmas being a relaxing time, spent with family and friends? Why does the high street need to open its doors AT ALL after the 24th? Sure, keep the supermarkets open so essentials can be re-stocked but HMV? Waterstones? The fucking Magic Box?! Close 'em all 'til after we've wrecked our town centres at the New Year. Then we can have our January sales. Our poor, hard-working retail staff might actually get a chance to spend a bit of time with their loved ones. And we'd all feel a darn sight better, being able to put our feet up by the fire with a nice warm mug of tea, safe in the knowledge that it's at least another seven days before the mad rush to get the best handbag begins.
Oh, and while I'm at it, I propose that we close the Pope until the New Year too. That way we might be able to get through 'the most magical time of the year' (thank you Coca Cola... I think) without some twit in a big hat spouting bigotry and hatred in the name of his favourite deity. Come to think of it, how about we just lock him away for good, huh? I mean, who'd really miss him? We could throw in this imbecile too:
I'm sure they'd got on just famously together, locked in a closet. Then we could get back to worrying about the bargains, the credit crunch and UFOs in our back gardens. Or, indeed, that fake toothpaste we've all been buying. I knew there was a reason I always bought Macleans.
* = 'Everything' refers to all posts contained within the sale, which is approximately 0.0004% of the total content.
Okay, so that was slightly ridiculous. But excuse me while I let out one gigantic eeeeeeeeeugggggcccccccccckkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhhhh. Bloody January sales. Sorry, bloody freaking Boxing Day sales. Reports of idiots queueing up outside Selfridge's in London at seven o'bleeding clock, while others fight over handbags in the Trafford Centre. For the love of your family, people, what in the hell are you doing? Have you actually stopped to take a good look at yourselves? Only nine or ten hours since you were cuddled up next to your loved ones watching inane shite on the television, post the most gargantuan Christmas meal you've ever had the fortune to force down your gullet, you're out on the high street, scurrying around like lunatics, trying to spend EVEN MORE MONEY THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE in some sort of freak panic buy insanity. You already maxed out your credit card buying little Timmy that ultra-sophisticated games console he's always wanted in time for 'the big day', as well as everything else on the blighter's list; just because everything else you might want or need is now reduced well below its actual value, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BUY IT.
And if you really must, does it absolutely, positively have to be on Boxing Day? All right, all right, perhaps they'll sell out in the days to come because all the other freaks queued up at 7am on the 26th... but if we put an end to this store opening insanity, they wouldn't have a chance, would they? Whatever happened to Christmas being a relaxing time, spent with family and friends? Why does the high street need to open its doors AT ALL after the 24th? Sure, keep the supermarkets open so essentials can be re-stocked but HMV? Waterstones? The fucking Magic Box?! Close 'em all 'til after we've wrecked our town centres at the New Year. Then we can have our January sales. Our poor, hard-working retail staff might actually get a chance to spend a bit of time with their loved ones. And we'd all feel a darn sight better, being able to put our feet up by the fire with a nice warm mug of tea, safe in the knowledge that it's at least another seven days before the mad rush to get the best handbag begins.
Oh, and while I'm at it, I propose that we close the Pope until the New Year too. That way we might be able to get through 'the most magical time of the year' (thank you Coca Cola... I think) without some twit in a big hat spouting bigotry and hatred in the name of his favourite deity. Come to think of it, how about we just lock him away for good, huh? I mean, who'd really miss him? We could throw in this imbecile too:
I'm sure they'd got on just famously together, locked in a closet. Then we could get back to worrying about the bargains, the credit crunch and UFOs in our back gardens. Or, indeed, that fake toothpaste we've all been buying. I knew there was a reason I always bought Macleans.
* = 'Everything' refers to all posts contained within the sale, which is approximately 0.0004% of the total content.
Thursday, 25 December 2008
Nostalgia.
I was having a brief perusal through my last.fm journal (as you do) and I came across last year's 'best of' music lists. For anyone that's interested, I've posted them in the comments for their respective 2008 counterparts; so the 2007 'top 75 singles of the year' is in the 'top 75 singles of 08''s journal entry.
Also, The Gaslight Anthem's The '59 Sound joins a highly prolific cast of musical genii with its award of 'best album of the year'. Listed below are the LPs that won the accolade in years past, right back to 1994. Granted, I only started doing this in, like, 2004 but there's no harm in being retrospective...
Screenaged Kicks' Albums of the Year: 1994 - 2008
2008: The Gaslight Anthem: The '59 Sound
2007: Bright Eyes: Cassadaga
2006: My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade
2005: Bloc Party: Silent Alarm
2004: Green Day: American Idiot
2003: Muse: Absolution
2002: Interpol: Turn on the Bright Lights
2001: Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American
2000: Idlewild: 100 Broken Windows
1999: Jimmy Eat World: Clarity
1998: Eels: Electro-Shock Blues
1997: Foo Fighters: The Colour and the Shape
1996: Manic Street Preachers: Everything Must Go
1995: Weezer: Weezer
1994: Manic Street Preachers: The Holy Bible
For the statisticians among you, the Manics and Jimmy Eat World are currently the only artists to have had two albums of the year (94/96 and 99/01 respectively). Weezer very nearly did it with Pinkerton in 96, but were just pipped to the post. 2003 was also an extremely close call: in fact, if I could make it a tie between Muse (the winners) and Brand New's Deja Entendu, I would. But I can't.
Also, The Gaslight Anthem's The '59 Sound joins a highly prolific cast of musical genii with its award of 'best album of the year'. Listed below are the LPs that won the accolade in years past, right back to 1994. Granted, I only started doing this in, like, 2004 but there's no harm in being retrospective...
Screenaged Kicks' Albums of the Year: 1994 - 2008
2008: The Gaslight Anthem: The '59 Sound
2007: Bright Eyes: Cassadaga
2006: My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade
2005: Bloc Party: Silent Alarm
2004: Green Day: American Idiot
2003: Muse: Absolution
2002: Interpol: Turn on the Bright Lights
2001: Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American
2000: Idlewild: 100 Broken Windows
1999: Jimmy Eat World: Clarity
1998: Eels: Electro-Shock Blues
1997: Foo Fighters: The Colour and the Shape
1996: Manic Street Preachers: Everything Must Go
1995: Weezer: Weezer
1994: Manic Street Preachers: The Holy Bible
For the statisticians among you, the Manics and Jimmy Eat World are currently the only artists to have had two albums of the year (94/96 and 99/01 respectively). Weezer very nearly did it with Pinkerton in 96, but were just pipped to the post. 2003 was also an extremely close call: in fact, if I could make it a tie between Muse (the winners) and Brand New's Deja Entendu, I would. But I can't.
Top 75 Singles of 2008
I was fortunate enough to receive a rather lovely leather-bound notebook-type-thing as one of a fabulous range of Christmas presents this year and I've been frantically scrawling in the first few pages all day, trying to compose some form of 'singles of the year' list. I had the 75; it was just positioning them all that proved somewhat tasking. However, here I am, about 7,000 hours later, with the final list. Please - be gentle.
75. BAYSIDE: No One Understands
74. JACK'S MANNEQUIN: The Resolution
73. BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB: Evening/Morning
72. WE ARE SCIENTISTS: Chick Lit
71. RYAN ADAMS AND THE CARDINALS: Magick
70. IN CASE OF FIRE: This Time We Stand
69. R.E.M.: Until the Day is Done
68. RED LIGHT COMPANY: Scheme Eugene
67. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa
66. THE KISSAWAY TRAIL: Smother + Evil = Hurt
65. COLDPLAY: Viva La Vida
64. THESE NEW PURITANS: Elvis
63. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: No Sunlight
62. FLEET FOXES: White Winter Hymnal
61. THE OFFSPRING: Hammerhead
60. OASIS: The Shock of the Lightning
59. GOLDFINGER: One More Time
58. FRIGHTENED RABBIT: Heads Roll Off
57. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Oxford Comma
56. R.E.M.: Hollow Man
55. RED LIGHT COMPANY: Meccano
54. FUCKED UP: Year of the Pig
53. FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE: Kiss With a Fist
52. COHEED AND CAMBRIA: Feathers
51. EDITORS: Push Your Head Towards the Air
50. DIE! DIE! DIE!: Sideways, Here We Come
49. FUTURE OF THE LEFT: Manchasm
48. THE FUTUREHEADS: The Beginning of the Twist
47. FALL OUT BOY: I Don't Care
46. LAURA MARLING: Ghosts
45. PANIC AT THE DISCO: Nine in the Afternoon
44. BLOC PARTY: Talons
43. EMMY THE GREAT: We Almost Had a Baby
42. R.E.M.: Man Sized Wreath
41. CONOR OBERST: Souled Out!!!
40. RED LIGHT COMPANY: With Lights Out
39. BLACK LIPS: Bad Kids
38. LOS CAMPESINOS!: My Year in Lists
37. IDA MARIA: I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked
36. TOM GABEL: 100 Years of War
35. RISE AGAINST: Re-Education (Through Labor)
34. WHITE LIES: Unfinished Business
33. INDOOR FIREWORKS: One Track Mind
32. BE YOUR OWN PET: The Kelly Affair
31. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: One (Blake's Got a New Face)
30. THE KING BLUES: Let's Hang the Landlord
29. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: Old White Lincoln
28. WEEZER: Troublemaker
27. BLOOD RED SHOES: This Is Not For You
26. CHRIS TT: We are the King of England
25. KINGS OF LEON: Sex on Fire
24. ANTI-FLAG: The Bright Lights of America
23. THE SUBWAYS: Girls and Boys
22. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: I Will Possess Your Heart
21. LOS CAMPESINOS!: Death to Los Campesinos!
20. FRANK TURNER: Reasons Not to be an Idiot
19. THE KING BLUES: My Boulder
18. WHITE LIES: Death
17. FOALS: Olympic Airwaves
16. THE CRIBS: I'm A Realist
15. BLOOD RED SHOES: Say Something, Say Anything
14. GLASVEGAS: Geraldine
13. R.E.M.: Supernatural Superserious
12. FRANK TURNER: Photosynthesis
11. ALKALINE TRIO: Help Me
10. AGAINST ME!: Stop
9. BIFFY CLYRO: Mountains
8. WE ARE SCIENTISTS: After Hours
7. WEEZER: Pork and Beans
6. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: A-Punk
5. FOALS: Cassius
4. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: The '59 Sound
3. JIMMY EAT WORLD: Always Be
2. GLASVEGAS: It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry
1. FRANK TURNER: Long Live the Queen
75. BAYSIDE: No One Understands
74. JACK'S MANNEQUIN: The Resolution
73. BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB: Evening/Morning
72. WE ARE SCIENTISTS: Chick Lit
71. RYAN ADAMS AND THE CARDINALS: Magick
70. IN CASE OF FIRE: This Time We Stand
69. R.E.M.: Until the Day is Done
68. RED LIGHT COMPANY: Scheme Eugene
67. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa
66. THE KISSAWAY TRAIL: Smother + Evil = Hurt
65. COLDPLAY: Viva La Vida
64. THESE NEW PURITANS: Elvis
63. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: No Sunlight
62. FLEET FOXES: White Winter Hymnal
61. THE OFFSPRING: Hammerhead
60. OASIS: The Shock of the Lightning
59. GOLDFINGER: One More Time
58. FRIGHTENED RABBIT: Heads Roll Off
57. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Oxford Comma
56. R.E.M.: Hollow Man
55. RED LIGHT COMPANY: Meccano
54. FUCKED UP: Year of the Pig
53. FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE: Kiss With a Fist
52. COHEED AND CAMBRIA: Feathers
51. EDITORS: Push Your Head Towards the Air
50. DIE! DIE! DIE!: Sideways, Here We Come
49. FUTURE OF THE LEFT: Manchasm
48. THE FUTUREHEADS: The Beginning of the Twist
47. FALL OUT BOY: I Don't Care
46. LAURA MARLING: Ghosts
45. PANIC AT THE DISCO: Nine in the Afternoon
44. BLOC PARTY: Talons
43. EMMY THE GREAT: We Almost Had a Baby
42. R.E.M.: Man Sized Wreath
41. CONOR OBERST: Souled Out!!!
40. RED LIGHT COMPANY: With Lights Out
39. BLACK LIPS: Bad Kids
38. LOS CAMPESINOS!: My Year in Lists
37. IDA MARIA: I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked
36. TOM GABEL: 100 Years of War
35. RISE AGAINST: Re-Education (Through Labor)
34. WHITE LIES: Unfinished Business
33. INDOOR FIREWORKS: One Track Mind
32. BE YOUR OWN PET: The Kelly Affair
31. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: One (Blake's Got a New Face)
30. THE KING BLUES: Let's Hang the Landlord
29. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: Old White Lincoln
28. WEEZER: Troublemaker
27. BLOOD RED SHOES: This Is Not For You
26. CHRIS TT: We are the King of England
25. KINGS OF LEON: Sex on Fire
24. ANTI-FLAG: The Bright Lights of America
23. THE SUBWAYS: Girls and Boys
22. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: I Will Possess Your Heart
21. LOS CAMPESINOS!: Death to Los Campesinos!
20. FRANK TURNER: Reasons Not to be an Idiot
19. THE KING BLUES: My Boulder
18. WHITE LIES: Death
17. FOALS: Olympic Airwaves
16. THE CRIBS: I'm A Realist
15. BLOOD RED SHOES: Say Something, Say Anything
14. GLASVEGAS: Geraldine
13. R.E.M.: Supernatural Superserious
12. FRANK TURNER: Photosynthesis
11. ALKALINE TRIO: Help Me
10. AGAINST ME!: Stop
9. BIFFY CLYRO: Mountains
8. WE ARE SCIENTISTS: After Hours
7. WEEZER: Pork and Beans
6. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: A-Punk
5. FOALS: Cassius
4. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: The '59 Sound
3. JIMMY EAT WORLD: Always Be
2. GLASVEGAS: It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry
1. FRANK TURNER: Long Live the Queen
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Top 30 Albums of 2008
Having hummed and hah-ed over this for the past couple of weeks or so, I now present to you my favourite thirty (yes, thirty!) albums of 2008. Despite my overall impression of the musical year being a somewhat lacklustre one, it seems that I've listened to a whole heck of a lot of stuff and surprised myself somewhat by just how much of it I have come to love. There's several that didn't make it for one reason or another - Goldfinger's Hello Destiny, The Futureheads' This Is Not The World, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals' Cardinology, We Are Scientists' Brain Thrust Mastery, Jack's Mannequin's The Glass Passenger, to name a few - but let's not dwell on those. Instead, let's get right down to business with a nice old list. No, I'm not going to wax poetic about the albums in the list, mostly because it's Christmas Eve at 10.00pm and I can't be arsed, but also because there's only so much smoke I can blow up musicians' arses before I start to get a bit, well, bored. So here it is, the top 30 of the year, in all its naked, ungarnished glory...
30. BAYSIDE: Shudder
29. FLEET FOXES: Fleet Foxes
28. THE WALKMEN: You & Me
27. BE YOUR OWN PET: Get Awkward
26. THE SUBWAYS: All Or Nothing
25. BLOC PARTY: Intimacy
24. BRITISH SEA POWER: Do You Like Rock Music?
23. THE OFFSPRING: Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace
22. FUCKED UP: The Chemistry of Common Life
21. FLOGGING MOLLY: Float
20. STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS: Real Emotional Trash
19. LAURA MARLING: Alas, I Cannot Swim
18. ANTI-FLAG: The Bright Lights of America
17. FRIGHTENED RABBIT: The Midnight Organ Fight
16. CHRIS TT: Capital
15. RISE AGAINST: Appeal To Reason
14. THE KING BLUES: Save The World, Get The Girl
13. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: Narrow Stairs
12. LOS CAMPESINOS!: We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
11. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Vampire Weekend
10. R.E.M.: Accelerate
9. ALKALINE TRIO: Agony and Irony
8. LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION: Falling Off The Lavender Bridge
7. FOALS: Antidotes
6. LOS CAMPESINOS!: Hold On Tight, Youngster
5. GLASVEGAS: Glasvegas
4. CONOR OBERST AND THE MYSTIC VALLEY BAND: Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
3. BLOOD RED SHOES: Box of Secrets
2. FRANK TURNER: Love, Ire and Song
1. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: The '59 Sound
30. BAYSIDE: Shudder
29. FLEET FOXES: Fleet Foxes
28. THE WALKMEN: You & Me
27. BE YOUR OWN PET: Get Awkward
26. THE SUBWAYS: All Or Nothing
25. BLOC PARTY: Intimacy
24. BRITISH SEA POWER: Do You Like Rock Music?
23. THE OFFSPRING: Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace
22. FUCKED UP: The Chemistry of Common Life
21. FLOGGING MOLLY: Float
20. STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS: Real Emotional Trash
19. LAURA MARLING: Alas, I Cannot Swim
18. ANTI-FLAG: The Bright Lights of America
17. FRIGHTENED RABBIT: The Midnight Organ Fight
16. CHRIS TT: Capital
15. RISE AGAINST: Appeal To Reason
14. THE KING BLUES: Save The World, Get The Girl
13. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: Narrow Stairs
12. LOS CAMPESINOS!: We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
11. VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Vampire Weekend
10. R.E.M.: Accelerate
9. ALKALINE TRIO: Agony and Irony
8. LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION: Falling Off The Lavender Bridge
7. FOALS: Antidotes
6. LOS CAMPESINOS!: Hold On Tight, Youngster
5. GLASVEGAS: Glasvegas
4. CONOR OBERST AND THE MYSTIC VALLEY BAND: Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
3. BLOOD RED SHOES: Box of Secrets
2. FRANK TURNER: Love, Ire and Song
1. THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM: The '59 Sound
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